April-June, 2014
A few years ago, A Course in Miracles and I met for the first time. There it was, staring at me from a bookshelf, inviting me in and offering a life full of inner peace and miracles. I opened the book, flipped through the pages quickly, and thought, “Nah, this is not for me.”
After that first encounter, experiences kept aligning just like that; ACIM would come up in conversations with friends, other books that I read, audio books that I listened to in the car and emails that I received inviting me to different workshops and meet up groups. It was an endless nudge from the Universe and as much as I would try to ignore it or push it away, I still felt the calling and I knew it was inevitable.
For quite some time, I sought happiness, love and inner peace in all external places; I looked to fill myself up with drugs, alcohol, food, over-exercising, toxic relationships, over-working myself, you name it. This way of living did not bring me to a place of happiness or inner peace. It was an endless search and I could never find what I was looking for. I was completely driven by ego and ego always lead me right into fear. I found myself resentful of my past, irritated in the present and fearful of the future.
Six and a half years ago, I decided that my life was unmanageable physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually from living a lifestyle with drugs and alcohol. I got clean and my life started to get better. I worked the 12 steps and my life got even better. I learned how to incorporate meditation in my life and established a connection with the Universe, and life got beautiful. However, I still found myself hungry for more. There were still moments where I felt unmanageable with my emotions and my thoughts.
I sought self-help books and other 12 step programs to soothe this piece of me. The books and programs helped with the symptoms, but I still felt like there was a root deep down inside of me that needed pulled. Out of the several books that I turned to, there was one, by a young female author, who was an addict in recovery that I connected to immediately. She talked about ACIM and how it changed her life. My heart shifted from closed to open and willing. The ACIM was still something that I had not tried. I connected with my good friend, Ordained Ministerial Counselor and committed student of A Course in Miracles, Rev. Carmela (CiCi) Caravello, and I told her that I was interested in ACIM. Things happened so fast after that. Next thing I knew, I was ringing in the New Year with ACIM.
I began lesson one of ACIM on January 1, 2014. I am 40 lessons deep, and I cannot picture my life without it. I have found the solution to my inner discomfort. I have found my missing piece, or maybe it found me. Everything that I thought I needed is already within me. It is up to me to take responsibility of my thoughts about what I experience in this world. I notice the ego come up, I forgive it and I shift to love. Love is my natural state and happiness is my birthright.
Miracles have been happening every day since I began this new journey. I have a connection with Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and God that I seek out daily. I have been able to forgive my past, love what is occurring in the present and I am able to allow the future to unfold as it will without fear interfering all the time. I am not a victim anymore and I have choices. I have a newfound freedom that allows me to go inside instead of seeking comfort outside of myself. Lesson by lesson, the fog is lifted just a little more each day and my vision is getting clearer. I am unlearning the fear. Today, I feel a part of something magnificent and real; I love that I can raise vibration, spread the light and be love in the world.
Amanda Mossing, is a Pathways of Light ACIM Practitioner student living in Loxahatchee, Florida. Website: http://www.soulfeatherinspiration.com
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