Miracles News

April-June, 2018

Tumbleweeds

by Rev. Peggy Rivera, O.M.C.

Rev. Peggy RiveraThe tumbleweed blows around in the desert after it dies. It dries up and forms a big ball that rolls around on the barren dust at the winds command. It goes wherever the wind takes it, and as it tumbles around it drops little seeds in its path. Aimlessly it tumbles to and fro without any direction of its own.

How I can relate to that feeling as a tumbleweed? Growing up I often felt dry, un-nurtured, and without direction. The wind reminds me of how I felt that I had no direction of my own. I would often give my power away trying to please others. I didn’t trust myself and I definitely didn’t know how to love myself or care for myself. I knew how to give but I didn’t know how to receive.

I think I felt like someone else would come along someday and make me feel whole. I thought my husband could save me from my lack of self-esteem. He could make me feel special and loved. When that didn’t work out, I felt even more unlovable. I felt I was unacceptable as a human being. Everyone in my life had proved that to me. When I married again I thought, I just had a bad first experience. This time I will feel better about myself. But no matter how much he showed me he loved me, I couldn’t believe him. I didn’t trust him. People have already shown me what to expect from them and I was not about to let myself be vulnerable again.

Through many tears and heartaches I learned that I wasn’t an island. If I didn’t learn to trust, I would not find life worth living. Depression was hanging over me like a veil. I felt weighed down and so alone in my pain. Until one day I heard a voice say to me, “Peggy, I love you.”

It didn’t take long until I realized it was Holy Spirit calling to me, letting me know that I was loved. I found a book called A Course in Miracles and as I read, my world began to change. I learned that I am Love. No matter what the external world appears to say, none of that is true. I have learned that when I feel something other than Love, I am experiencing the fears of the ego.

Recently I was feeling left out in a situation. I again experienced that feeling of rejection and self-loathing. I cried out to Holy Spirit to help me with what I was feeling. Sometimes I get messages from Holy Spirit as if I were talking to someone I can’t see, but other times I get the message I need in other ways. This time I received what I needed from a book. Anita Moorjani, wrote a book called, Dying to Be Me. She had lymphoma and when she went in to a coma, she found herself in a state of awareness where only Love exists. She healed from her cancer and she gives talks about what caused her to develop cancer in the first place.

She also was a people pleaser. She spent her life trying to be something she wasn’t and she became hopeless. She said unresolved emotions can eventually lead to illness and the path to healing is learning to replace all that fear with Love. Fear causes a big hole in you that needs to be filled and you have to fill it with Love.

I realized that no matter what my external circumstances were, I will always be Love. Sometimes the world we see with our human eyes feels so real that it is so easy to forget that this is only make-believe. Anita said if we could see how magnificent we really are, we would be blown away. In this life we are to let our true Light really shine. To Love everyone and everything, even the earth is alive. When we accept false beliefs about ourselves, it dims our Light and we begin to hide who we are. We have to find a way every day to remind ourselves what is really true. Never let the world diminish our true Light.

In A Course in Miracles, Text Pg.19, 1.10,11 it says, “This peace is totally incapable of being shaken by errors of any kind. It denies the ability of anything not of God to affect you.” (T-2.II.1:10-11)

Rev. Peggy Rivera is a Pathways of Light minister living in Palm Bay, Florida. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Phone: 305-322-6610 Website: http://www.privera.lifeministries.com

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