Miracles News

January-March, 2025

Unholy Attachments: Letting Go to Receive

by Rev. Maureen Yarbrough, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

In this fast-paced world of hopping from one activity to another and just not stopping or slowing down from morning to night, it’s easy to lose sight of the Light and be less than pleasant with those closest to us — those “special” relationships in our lives of significant others and immediate family, close friends, etc. Geeze, I have been guilty of doing so time after time in my journey.

It was a long process to elevate from blaming others, to eventually seeing and realizing that I am, quite literally, the cause of my own problems and not a one have anything at all to do with anyone else. I simply need to unplug and practice some realignment and self-love. Keep in mind that there is no guilt in having special relationships — this world is made as the playground for them. I have felt that in this realm, here, I am always training in forgiveness. At first it was torturous, but as time goes on, it is much less so…though ‘it” can only occur in an instant! Ha! Go figure.

A Course in Miracles views guilt in special relationships as stemming from the belief in separation. Our true nature is unified with God and all beings.

Special relationships, while seemingly innocent, reinforce the illusion of separation by placing emphasis on a specific individual, leading to exclusion and judgment of others. This perceived separation is the root of guilt. A good example is the green monster of jealousy. Especially when I was young, I felt very inferior, which resulted in feelings of envy, and simply not being good enough.

When I look through the eyes of pure love, there would be nothing to be ever be jealous of as everything turns out for the best, and there are no accidents, so why would I choose to live in fear instead of faith in each decision following my Inner Guidance of Love and mercy? When I am clinging instead to fear, choosing to defend my ego, I am projecting that upon this person. This projection of our own guilt onto our partner (or the use of the relationship to avoid facing our own inner conflict) can lead to dependency, control, and unhealthy attachments. All of which lead to separation and dis-ease (any state other than peace).

Ah, the ego. That master manipulator, that inner drama queen/king who just can’t resist a good dose of guilt and separation. It’s like the ego has a subscription to the ‘Drama of the Month’ club, and special relationships are its favorite binge-worthy series.

ACIM distinguishes between true Love, which is unconditional and extends to all beings, and special love, which is conditional and exclusive – “separate.” Special love is based on fear and lack, while true Love is rooted in the awareness of our shared divine nature (I think of it as PURE love – just so CLEAN & CLEAR!).

ACIM emphasizes forgiveness as the path to healing guilt in special relationships. By forgiving ourselves and our partners for the illusion of separation (so, yeah, uh, nothing!), we can release the guilt and experience true Love and connection.

Here are some ways that I apply ACIM principles to address guilt in special relationships:

Recognize the illusion: Become aware of how the special relationship reinforces the belief in separation. Guilt and shame arise from the ego’s attempt to maintain the illusion of separation from God and others. By recognizing that this separation is an illusion, you can begin to loosen the grip of guilt and shame.

Question your thoughts: When feelings of guilt or shame arise, ask yourself, “Is this thought based on truth or the ego’s illusion?”

Practice forgiveness: Forgive yourself: Release self-judgment and acknowledge that you are worthy of love and forgiveness, despite any perceived mistakes.

Forgive others: Forgive those who you believe have caused you harm, recognizing that they too are operating under the illusion of separation.

See mistakes as learning opportunities: Instead of dwelling on past actions, view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Thinking of forgiveness as a LETTING GO…or releasing, is therapeutic to me, and maybe a visualization or even a practice, that may work for you, too.

Shift my focus: Instead of seeking completion in the relationship, cultivate inner peace and connection with my true Self. See where you have performed in a similar way to someone else perhaps.

Extend Love to all: Practice extending love and compassion to all beings, not just my partner… oh, this is life changing for me. It shifts me immediately into pure Love and soul tingles!

Seek guidance from the Holy Spirit: I ask for guidance in recognizing and releasing guilt. Spend time in stillness: Engage in practices like meditation or prayer to connect with your Inner Wisdom and receive guidance. I cannot overstate the healing power of meditation. When I stopped viewing it as a time stealer and re-envisioned it as a powerful healing tool (which it IS) it has an irreplaceable tool.

Trust my intuition: Listen to my Inner Voice and trust the guidance It provides. You will know. There will be no nagging doubts.

All relationships are tools for training. ACIM encourages us to transform them by bringing awareness and forgiveness to each of our interactions, allowing them to become expressions of true love rather than sources of guilt.

Here are a few ways I try to practice on a daily basis:

Be patient with yourself: Healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these emotions.

Seek support: Connect with others who are studying ACIM or working on personal growth.

Study ACIM consistently: Deepen your understanding of its principles through regular study and reflection. It will change your life for the better.

Rev. Maureen Yarbrough is a Pathways of Light minister living in Yulee, Florida. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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