I was at a store today and there was a woman standing at the counter. Her body was badly deformed. When I was young I have been repelled by this kind of thing, and would turn away. As I grew older I was still repelled but ashamed of my feelings and would cover them over with pity. As I matured spiritually, I began to learn that neither response was appropriate, but that was just learning, the collection of new ideas. How I felt had not really changed and so I was conflicted between how I felt and how I thought I should feel. I would still turn away and still feel guilty, the only difference is that I was now confused about my feelings..
This time when I saw the woman I felt that sense of confusion, but beneath it was something else, something new. However, it was not clear. But it was right there, like a word on the tip of the tongue that I could not quite grasp. So I showed my confused thoughts to Holy Spirit. I asked Him how to see past what the body’s eyes show me. Immediately this beautiful, perfect thought came into my mind. “The soul that animates this body looks exactly like your soul.”
I had spent a lifetime imprisoning myself within the ego, looking out of the body’s eyes and seeing only an illusion. I had tried to see differently using the body’s eyes and that had left me only confused and frustrated. I still saw a separate being, different than me, whose goals were different than mine. In that one instant, with this new thought, I saw truly for the first time and knew this woman as myself. I knew the body I thought of as myself was only a tool, a communication device, something useful for that purpose only. I had heard those words before, but this was the first time their meaning had come alive for me.
As I looked at that woman’s body I saw that the mind chose a different communication device to learn specific lessons. It was not a sad or frightful thing that had happened to her. It was soul choice to learn in a particular way and so it was perfect for that soul’s lifetime desire. She was not deformed, the body was deformed. Deformity was not bad, only useful for a time. It did not just happen, it was a choice. And as all of this fell into place within my mind, the judgment born of fear that had prompted past reactions fell away, and my vision cleared. I didn’t see an unlucky or cursed woman, but another part of myself having an experience. In that holy instant I saw no separation and wanted no separation.
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