A Letter to My Son
Subject: Keeping Life Simple
August 8, 2004
Dear Toby,
I was trying to explain to you what I mean when I say I keep my spiritual life simple. I don?t think I made myself clear during our discussion, and would like to try again in this letter. Writing how I feel about something is much easier for me. Writing affords the opportunity to take words back that you can never have in real time. It also allows me the luxury of expressing myself in a thoughtful manner which I cannot do when we speak face to face.
All decisions I make are very simple when I realize that all things are forgiveness lessons. That is what everything is for, an opportunity to forgive. No matter what form my problems may take, no matter how complicated the situation may seem, forgiveness is the answer. Forgiveness is achieved through the Holy Spirit. As soon as I identify a situation as an opportunity to forgive, I bring it to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to help me to see it differently. I ask Him to heal my thoughts.
I started thinking about simplicity in my life when I began to realize that complexity is the way the ego distracts me from what is real. For instance, when I start thinking about my body size and shape, the ego quickly makes it seem like a very complex problem. There is what I eat; is it something that makes me gain weight? And, according to what expert? Which diet is really good for me? Which of the many diets offered will really work and of those, which will work for me? The experts can?t decide so how am I going to make a decision?
Then there is my metabolism. Different bodies seem to burn off calories at different rates. And, to further complicate the situation, our bodies experience a change in this rate as they grow older. So, what worked for a good part of my life, no longer does.
That is just the beginning. I haven?t even started on the psychology of weight loss and gain. How much am I affected by what my mom taught me through her experience of this problem? She deeply impressed the idea that my weight is a deciding factor in who I am, and how people will think of me. I don?t think this is what my mom meant to teach me, but that is what I learned from her. And on goes the questioning..
Toby, you can see how complicated things get when you listen to the ego voice. The ego varies its rules as it needs to so it is hard to get a grip on anything it tells you. The one rule that never changes is this:You will seek and not find. You will try, but never succeed. The seeming complexity of everything in the illusion was made for this purpose. You can see how effective it is in distracting us from what really matters. And, in fact, it is very effective in keeping us from knowing what does matter. I have been so busy trying to achieve weight control that I have completely lost sight of what is meaningful.
This is why I strive for simplicity in my life. I have a purpose, a holy purpose, given me by God. My purpose in this life is to forgive. That is what everything is for. This keeps everything simple. If I am struggling with a weight issue, and I remember my purpose, then I know that what I am meant to do is to forgive.
Forgiveness is a matter of overlooking, or looking past an issue to the truth behind it. I don?t know what the truth is. If I did, I wouldn?t have anything to forgive. If I try to figure it out on my own, I will just wind up back in the ego trap of complexity. Instead, I ask the Holy Spirit for healing. I offer only my willingness to see it differently. That is my part, and my only part. I keep it simple.
Any time I find myself confused about something that is happening in my life, or uncertain what to do, I know that I am listening to the ego. When that happens I take the whole thing to the Holy Spirit, and ask that He heal my thoughts around the issue. I usually start with my emotions because I am often not immediately sure what the thoughts are. For instance, let us consider my problem with weight.
When it looks like I am gaining a couple of pounds I feel panicky and fearful. When I eat something not on my current diet, I feel guilty. Because I have constructed such a complex thought structure around this issue, it has taken me some time and effort to get at the core problem. I did it by taking it a thought at a time and examining each one with the Holy Spirit. I thought about the fear I experience when I gain weight. I asked myself why I think I need to stay thin. The answer was that I think being thin helps me gain approval from others. Why do I need approval? I need approval because I think I am separate from my brothers, otherwise I could not see me here being attacked, and them over there attacking me.
So, the belief behind the thought behind the emotion is one of separation. And, of course, the belief in separation started with the belief I separated myself from God, the core belief behind all unconscious guilt and fear. It is at this level that I choose to allow healing, and I do this by choosing to listen to the Holy Spirit instead of my ego. When I asked my ego to help me with my problem, he took me down one dead end after another until I was so confused I could never find my way out. That is its purpose, to keep me in the illusion; to keep me coming back to the ego for my salvation.
The Holy Spirit on the other hand wants to teach me so that I no longer need a teacher. The Course says: I will teach with you and live with you if you will think with me, but my goal will always be to absolve you finally from the need for a teacher. The Holy Spirit shows me that the maze of complexity the ego created around this issue isn?t real. It is meaningless and therefore I can choose to ignore it. I don?t gain weight because I eat too much. I don?t gain weight because I eat the wrong things. I don?t gain weight because I have a slow metabolism or because my mom taught me all the wrong things. The Holy Spirit took me straight to the real problem, and gave me the opportunity to ask for healing, and to practice forgiveness. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my belief that I am separate from God.
Because I have formed the habit of listening to the ego, I keep going back to it for advice, but now that I am listening to the Voice for God, I am no longer satisfied with the ego answers. I can see through its transparent efforts to keep me chained to it. I might listen for awhile, but then I return to the only Voice Which loves me and really wants the best for me. Each time I return to the Holy Spirit, I am stronger in my willingness to follow its Voice.
This is the process I am learning to use with each issue in my life. I follow the emotion to the thought to the belief. Then, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I forgive that belief and I am healed. This is sometimes instantaneous, but usually, it requires some effort on my part to maintain my willingness to allow healing, but each time I do it, it gets easier. This is my job; to practice forgiveness. All things that happen in my life are forgiveness lessons. My job is to forgive all things. I am very clear about this, and this is what I mean when I say I keep my life simple. When something comes up in my life, I ask myself what it is for and the answer is it is for forgiveness. I then express my willingness to forgive and ask the Holy Spirit to heal me. I no longer dance around the issue with the ego, or at least if I do, it is a much shorter dance, and then I remember what it is for.
This works the same on all things. If I feel like my feelings have been hurt by someone, I can follow the egos machinations and look for meaning behind the actions or words that caused the ill feeling. I can brood on the offense for days, even years. I can imagine what I would have said in retort if only I had thought of it. I can imagine how I will respond next time or even plot revenge.
The Holy Spirit will take me somewhere entirely different if I turn to Him instead of to my ego. He tells me my brothers’ words are either love or a call for love. How do I want to respond to my brothers’ call for love? Thinking of it this way puts the whole thing in perspective. What a moment ago seemed like an unwarranted attack on me, now with the Holy Spirit?s help, I see it was merely a plea for my love. I no longer feel attacked; I no longer feel the need to defend myself. Now I see my purpose here is not to attack, but to save.
So, again it is very simple. Instead of trying to figure out why I was attacked, and who shares what portion of blame; instead of trying to work out an appropriate defense and so attack in return; instead of filling my life with anger and fear, I have another choice. The Course says, ?This calls for salvation, not attack.? As I choose the Voice for God I am shown how to save the world through forgiveness. I am free to overlook what I thought was hurtful to me by seeing that nothing anyone says to me can hurt me. It is only how I feel about what they say that is hurtful, so there was no attack by that person. I attacked myself and I forgive myself for that attack. As I recognize my own invulnerability, I teach that person his invulnerability. As I teach him his invulnerability, I convince myself of my own. As the Course says:
?When a brother acts insanely, he is offering you an opportunity
to bless him. His need is yours. You need the blessing you can
offer him. There is no way for you to have it except by giving it.
This is the law of God, and it has no exceptions.?
True forgiveness is such a lovely, elegant solution to all the misery we cause each other through our endless attack and defend reactions. And, best of all, it is so simple; not many solutions to many problems, but one solution to all problems. Simple, simple, simple.
Love,
Mom
© Copyright 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.
Has this page been helpful to you?
Your contribution in support of this site is greatly appreciated. To make a tax deductible contribution or become a member online, go to http://www.pathwaysoflight.org/polshop/home.php?cat=254.
Or send a check or money order to Pathways of Light, 6 Oak Court, Ormond Beach, FL 32174-2623 (USD only, please) Thank you for your support.