Discovering the Source of My Strength
Another thing I learned while in the hospital had to do with strength. One of the worst parts of being in the hospital is how weak it makes me feel. There is a sense of vulnerability that is inherent in everything about a hospital stay.
First they take your clothes from you and dress you in an open gown that leaves you with little modesty and no dignity. They decide everything for you; what you eat, what medicine you will be taking, when you are allowed to get up and what you are allowed to do.
If you are having a procedure done it will probably be a mystery to you. You don?t know what they are going to do to you or if it will hurt, or, more likely, how bad it will hurt, or for how long.
If it is an invasive procedure like surgery, your body will feel assaulted and will require time to heal. During that time the body feels very weak and especially vulnerable. You hate for anyone to come near you and want to protect the injured site.
The body weakness can go on for a long time. A week after the surgery I drove to the doctor?s office to have a dressing changed and I wondered how anyone could get so tired just driving two miles and walking into an office.
While still in the hospital, I lay in the bed feeling both weak and vulnerable and thinking how unpleasant and unnatural these feelings are. There was nothing I could do to alter the circumstances of my life at this moment, but I could change my mind about how I was feeling about them. I asked the Holy Spirit to come into my mind and heal my thoughts. I could feel discomfort around the surgical sight so I put my hand on it. This reminded me that I could do a LaHo Chi treatment on myself. LaHo Chi is an energy healing method I had learned recently and this seemed an ideal time to practice it.
I began with a prayer asking the Holy Spirit to join with me in this healing. As I asked for healing I could feel the familiar warmth and tingling begin in my hands and then spread around my affected organs and move outward over all of my body.
Afterward, I felt better and I realized something very important. My body may have been temporarily weakened, but I am not my body. I am spirit and spirit is not weak. It doesn?t matter how weak my body is, my spirit is unchanged and is as God created it; perfect, whole, and powerful.
After that experience I lost that feeling of being weak and vulnerable. Sure, my body is experiencing these things as part of the healing process, and I intend to give my body all the rest and supplements needed to support it as it heals. That doesn?t mean I am going to identify myself with my body.
When I get into my car, I am surrounded with a protective shield of metal. It takes me places quickly and comfortably. I am very grateful to have my car, but I never think of myself as being my car. I never think when my car is broken that I am broken. I don?t identify with my car.
My body is a useful instrument for living on planet earth. I appreciate it and am glad to have it. The problem comes when I start to identify with it. I start to think I am my body. I forget that I am spirit. Just as I get out of my car at the end of the trip, when I am at the end of this life, I will step out of my body.
I had surgery to correct a bodily problem, but I had a healing of another, more important kind. I recognized that I was feeling something other than joy and I chose to change my mind about it. I brought those thoughts to the Holy Spirit and he healed my mind. He showed me that my strength is not dependent on my body, that my strength does not come from my body. He showed me that I am not my body.
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