Day 1
The hurricane is still a good practice field for letting go. We have
spent yesterday and today preparing. We picked up every solid object
from the yard and secured it because it becomes a missle in hurricane
winds. We moved things away from the windows, and put other things in
plastic boxes in the hope of saving them if the roof comes off. I put
all my Pathways courses (there are many) in two of those boxes. I
nearly waited too long to buy them. Walmart and Target were nearly
stripped empty. When I went in it looked like they had been robbed.
This morning I am packing what will fit into my car and then will
pack the computer. We are driving to Houston where we have hotel
rooms for the next several days. Since we don’t know, yet, if we are
actually going to be hit we hate to empty the refrigerator and
freezer. On the other hand, if we don’t empty it and we do get hit it
will be about three weeks before we can come back. In that case the
refrigerator would aborb the smell of rotten meat and would have to
be thrown away.
There are lots of rumors flying around and it is hard to know which
are true. I have to watch tv to keep up, but I hate to do that
because tv is really big into drama. Yesterday I went in search of
fuel to top off my car and had a hard time finding any. While there I
listened to people talking. I heard a lot of ego chatter, a lot of
fear. It is very hard to not become part of the drama, but when I
make the effort to notice when I am getting caught up in fear
thoughts and to release them, I am able to do all that needs to be
done without getting upset. It requires constant vigilance, though.
Panic is contagious.
I notice that I will say things like: I hate not knowing where it is
going to hit. I wish it would go somewhere else. I sure hope New
Orleans doesn’t get a direct hit. That would be the end of them. I
notice what I am doing. I am wanting things to be different. I am
saying that I cannot be happy unless they are different. I am a
victim of the world I see. None of this is true. It is what it is,
and I don’t need anything to be otherwise. Everything that happens
and does not happen is an opportunity to awaken and that is all it
is. I am grateful that I have been practicing forgiveness and
acceptance.
Day 2 of Evacuating with the Holy Spirit
When I went to the lobby for coffee this morning the tv was on and,
of course, it was disaster in New Orleans talk. I began to feel very
sad for the city and everyone in it and concerned for my son who
lives and works there. Toby tends to become very stressed and then
depressed. I guess this is an appropriate reaction to the belief that
you are only a helpless and very vulnerable body living through a
disaster. I am keeping him in the Light of my rememberance of the
truth, and ask that you all join me in that prayer.
When I got back to my room I began my five minutes as Christ
meditation. I always begin by reminding myself that I and my Father
are one. This is a thought I want to hold to. It is THE thought I
want to hold to. Today as I said it I felt the truth of it as I never
have before. I sat and wept for the joy of it and for the relief of
it.
Yesterday, as we were packing up a man shows up wanting to cut down
our dead trees (they had died in the last hurricane but had
stubbornly remained standing and dangerous). I told him that I knew
they needed to come down because when they fell they were likely to
hit the house, but that I couldn’t afford to have them cut. It was
typically about $2000.00 a piece to do this. This guy and his sons
must have needed hurricane money because they cut down four trees for
$500.00. They did not remove them, but at least they were down where
they could not do damage.
After they left we noticed that one of them had fallen partially into
a ditch and would cause flooding so we had to remove that part of it.
A neighbor came out with a saw and helped us remove as much as
possible. It was really hot and difficult work, but we got it done
and hopped into the cars to leave. It is normally a 2 1/2 hour drive
to Houston but it took us 7 hours to make it yesterday. We took back
country roads and so we drove without the stop and start of the
congested freeways. Took the same amount of time but without the
frustration of bumper to bumper traffic.
We have a lovely hotel with really friendly people and enjoyed a nice
supper last night. My granddaughter (2 years old) has had pnuemonia
until yesterday when she just woke up feeling terrific. Perfect
timeing! It could have been a scary, hard, and frustrating
experience, but instead it was a pretty peaceful one. We had bought
walkie talkies and my daughter (who was in her own car and I in
mine) kept calling me mama bear and saying over and out.
We were all exhausted last night and, as I said, this morning I was
feeling some sadness until my meditation. After the meditation I have
been feeling so joyful that I can only think of having fun! My son,
Toby, is here staying at in-laws and my son, Scott, lives here. We
are all meeting with my daughter and grandkids for lunch at a mexican
place, then taking the kids to the Children’s Museum.
I know that these moments of truth, these thoughts that are worth
holding onto, do not tend to hold up against the illusion for an
indefinite time, but I also know that they never completely fade, and
that “life” is never quite the same after them. I also know that the
more times during the day that I relinquish the mistaken thoughts,
and the more times I remind myself of the truth, the easier it is to
remain in the truth no matter what is going on in the world.
On Praying for Evacuees from Regina Dawn Akers
Hi all,
I used to feel guilty when people asked me to pray for them. I thought that if someone perceived a problem in the world and wanted me to pray for them, I was validating the problem in the world and making the world real through my prayer. Yet I also knew that the request for prayer was a request for love, so I felt very confused and very guilty whenever anyone asked me to pray for them.
But then, Holy Spirit reinterpreted these words for me in NTI Philippians, Chapter 1. Here is His reinterpretation:
“I pray for you” means, I know who you are, and I know who I am, and I know what we are together.
“I pray for you” means, I know we are not separate, but connected through God, which is mind and spirit.
“I pray for you” means, I recognize our oneness, and I recognize that as I ask for you, I too shall receive.
“I pray for you” is a statement of faith that all you see and sense and experience is not all there is. It is a statement of realization that effect is the result of intent, and intent can be affected by you.
There are no chains on mind or spirit. Therefore, there is nothing to fear.
So now, when I agree to pray for someone, I realize I am not asking for a specific outcome. I am simply remembering with them (or for them, if they seem to have forgotten) that we are That Which is Real and we cannot be threatened ever, no mater what the experience is. What we are is that which was, is and shall be forever, That Which Continues. We are existence itself, “I am that I am”. And for that, I am grateful. Therefore, “I pray for you” is an expression of gratitude for our truth.
Love, Regina
To orderThe Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament (NTI), click:
http://tinyurl.com/2kzhvb
Website - www.reginadawnakers.com
NTI study group - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NTIStudyGroup/
NTI discussion group - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NTIDiscussionGroup/
Day 3
I find Regina’s Single Quiet Thoughts from the Holy Spirit helpful and often use them to focus my mind.
—- In ACIMZEBRAS@yahoogroups.com, Regina Akers wrote:>
Your mind is closed
when it busies itself
with thinking and defining,
deciding and ideas.
This morning I woke up to a text message from my son saying that I could get information on whether we could go home if I logged onto the local TV website. They will make an announcement in a couple of hours. I think they will let us in today, but I won’t know for sure until I hear it from them. I called my house and the answering machine came on so I know I have power.
From the time I woke up until a few minutes ago, I noticed that I was getting more and more anxious. I was wondering with the ego mind if I could go home and what I should do about work and whether I have any damage. I was seeing that there are three more systems out there that will probably turn into hurricanes and I could wind up evacuating again in a few days. I was thinking, planning and deciding and I couldn’t seem to stop. I felt like a victim to my own mind.
I decided that I would do my Christ meditation. I began with reminding myself that I AM Christ, that my Father and I ARE one, and that I am that I am. It took awhile to achieve peace. My mind kept going to plans and ideas. I relaxed and remembered that the ego is just a small sliver within the Mind that I am. I set the ego in motion and it is going to continue, but I do not have to give credence to what it says. I am not the victim of the ego any more than I am the victim of the hurricane.
My chosen belief system 〈ego〉 set all of what is happening in motion. The belief in separation birthed all sorts of other beliefs and those beliefs birthed the many dramas we experience in this world of ours. So I am not the victim, but the maker of all this. I am also the one who chooses what I want to believe in and how I want to experience things.
Yesterday we decided to enjoy our evacuation. It was a true vacation day. My son Scott who lives in Houston and who we don’t see often recommended that we get together as a family for lunch at Papacitos, a well known Mexican restaurant, and what a good idea that was! I evacuated with my daughter, Sheryl and two grandkids, who I live with. And my son Toby and his girlfriend, Renee, who evacuated from New Orleans joined us. It was great!
It was really good to see Toby eating lunch without becoming violently ill. He has had something wrong with his stomach for months and for awhile there he was throwing up everytime he ate. He had lost a lot of weight and was looking bad. I had worried and fretted for a long time through this illness. At the end of July I asked friends to pray with me at a specific time. I felt the power of that prayer as a very palpable thing.
Immediately as I sat down to do my part, I felt the loving energy of that praying wash over me. It was so strong that I silently wept through the entire thing. I immediately felt healed of the anxiety and doubts that had plagued me. I heard the question, “Do you love this man enough to allow him his experience?” And I knew that I did. And that was it. I think of him now and I feel nothing but love; there is no need for him to have any certain experience just to make me feel good. Of course I would like to see him choose a happy experience, but his choices do not affect how I feel. I feel compassion because I know how it feels to choose ego over God, but I don’t feel the need to convince him of anything, nor do I feel sick that he is sick.
I didn’t think he accepted the healing, but I knew it was there for him when he wanted it. Slowly he has started to feel better and now, while he is still nauseous a lot of the time he has stopped throwing up. He sees the healing as a slow recovery that would have happened anyway and doesn’t think the prayers had anything to do with it. I see it as our minds being connected, and our light shining into his mind illuminating the truth. He is accepting it in the only way he can, a little at a time. I don’t feel any need to convince him of the power of prayer. God does not need defense. He will accept that healing when he is ready for it.
From Regina:
Leave the mind open
by listening to the heart.
It speaks too
although its Voice is quieter
and it does not use words.
Using the vehicle of my Christ meditation I have been able to Leave my mind open to hear the quiet Voice. I am feeling very peaceful again. Yesterday after lunch we took my my two year old granddaughter, Macey, to the children’s museum. We loved seeing her have so much fun. So when Toby called to see if I wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History, I was excited to join him. Nothing out there has changed; there are still the same questions and problems, but how I feel about them has totally changed. Without the anxiety I feel better, my body is healthier, my relationships undamaged by stressful responses. I am so grateful.
From Regina:
The mind can put words
to the message of the heart.
When it does this,
the mind is not thinking.
It is listening.
~From our Holy Spirit
www.reginadawnakers.com
I have done my best to put into words what I have experienced and felt this morning. It is not easy to do, and I have not expressed the healing that takes place when I am finally able to make the decision to be healed. But I do feel intense gratitude for the peace that envelopes me now. I am willing to notice when my awareness is focused on ego and to shift that awareness to the Holy Spirit. I am willing to do this all day today.
Last Day of Evacuation With Holy Spirit
They lifted the mandatory evacuation yesterday so that we could go home. There was no damage at my home because we barely caught any of the storm. In fact, a friend told me the mayor made an announcement on TV. He said that there had been a report of a twig in the road somewhere in town and he wanted to assure everyone a crew was right on it. Ha ha ha.
This is the way it is sometimes. If the path of a hurricane is near you, but uncertain, and if you live near the coast you really need to leave. I think that because of the devastation left by Katrina and Rita so recently, they over reacted and got everyone out sooner than they needed to. It causes a financial hardship for a lot of people.
Now that I am home I am looking around at the mess my room is. I have a lot of things boxed in plastic containers and since there are three possible hurricanes in the gulf I hesitate to take everything out. I’m thinking about it.
When I read Regina’s single quiet thought this morning I realized that, once again, it is very helpful for what is going on with me.
—- In ACIMZEBRAS@yahoogroups.com, Regina Akers wrote:
>
> One way to let go of
> the thinking in the thinking mind
> is to watch it.
>
> Pay attention to the stories it tells,
> not from a point of involvement and belief,
> but from the perspective of learning.
>
> What are these stories telling you?
> How are they teaching you to see the world?
> What are they asking you to expect from your brothers?
>
> Are these stories helpful?
> If not, why are you listening?
>
> ~From our Holy Spirit
I noticed that I was beginning to feel annoyed about little things that were happening, and with people who I came in contact with, people and things that would not ordinarily have bothered me at all. The truth is, when I felt that first twinge of annoyance, I felt ashamed and rather than really looking, I pushed it down where I wouldn’t have to see it. I busied myself with things and pretended I was not the small selfish person the ego was telling me I was. As a result of not looking at it with the Holy Spirit right that moment and allowing Him to correct my thinking, these kinds of thoughts kept popping up repeatedly during the course of the evacuation. They were like little splinters continually causing me discomfort, but not enough pain to motivate me to allow healing.
Of course, like splinters, if left to fester these unhealed thoughts tend to get out of hand, and before you know it I had become this bundle of reactivity. Everything people did seemed to be an attack on me personally and I reacted to them. I felt bad about that and of course the ego loves it when I feel guilty. That just reinforces fear thoughts and a sense of separation. Thank God I have had a lot of practice turning this kind of thing over to the Holy Spirit. Even though it took me a while to get to it, I forgave myself for all the projections I put on others.
It was easier to do this forgiveness work because I was noticing the stories the ego tells me. When I pay attention to them it is easy to see that these stories are not true and that they do not make me happy. Then I am more willing to relinquish them by allowing the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking.
Beyond the Thinking Mind or Another One is Coming
—- In ACIMZEBRAS@yahoogroups.com, Regina Akers wrote:>
Beyond the thinking mind
within the heart
there is reason and knowledge
that guides you.
When I got up this morning, I knew that there was something going on in my mind that I was not acknowledging. It was not immediately obvious to me what it was. I didn’t feel strong emotions, but I noticed that I stayed in bed longer than I needed to, and that I didn’t really want to get up. I would have fallen back to sleep if I could have. I knew there was something to look at, something that was disturbing my peace but I didn’t know what it was.
When I tried to think it through, my mind felt foggy. I couldn’t see clearly or get a grip on anything in particular. I picked up the closest book which was The Way of Mastery. I opened it to this question: Where am I perceiving myself as a victim of the world I see? So I decided to look at that. Immediately several circumstances came to mind and I knew that this was my problem this morning. I also knew that I could not solve this with the ego’s help. I had to get out of my thinking mind.
When you are lost from the heart,
caught up within the stories
of the thinking mind,
you are lost from this reason
and from this knowledge.
This is why you suffer.
You do not know your Self.
I started where I was. I decided to write down a list of the stories I was telling myself about victimhood and then write about each one. I started with the first thing that came to mind. There is another hurricane out there. I saw that I hated the idea of another hurricane. I thought about the cost of the last evacuation and knew that it would put a serious strain on my budget to do it again. I know my daughter simply does not have the money to pay for another one. I heard people talking about not evacuating because they could not afford it.
I thought about how much I dreaded the whole process; worrying and fretting, being uncertain about tomorrow and then the packing and making decisions about what to bring and what to leave. I thought about the destruction, the loss of property, the danger to those who remain behind. I thought, specifically, about how hard I have worked to get my little house finished so I can move out of my daughter’s house and how close I am to having it completed, and wondered if I would have to start over. It made me tired just to think about it.
I thought about my loss of income. I work for commissions and when a hurricane hits anywhere in the state I have customers who are not using my product and who are not receiving deliveries. It is going to make for a very small paycheck and now it may well get even smaller.
I was telling myself a lot of stories about this hurricane. I was believing them and so I was suffering. My stories were confusing me about who I am and that causes me to suffer.
Let go of the stories
by not believing them,
and listen intently
to the silent reason
and knowledge
of the heart.
~From our Holy Spirit.>
www.reginadawnakers.com
Writing it all down allowed me to acknowledge what was in my mind and to own it as self caused. Doing it with the Holy Spirit allowed me to do it without guilt or fear. I allowed my mind to rest a moment and opened my heart to the Holy Spirit. I felt such love and gratitude to this Voice for God. At first I was confused because I didn’t hear words, and then realized I didn’t need words because I felt peace wash over me.
I understood that I had been giving value where there was no value. I realized that there is no real value in holding onto this little part of the illusion and that the only reason I felt anxiety was because I had mistakenly thought there was. As soon as I let go of the need for the illusion to remain in a certain form, all the fear fell away.
As I quit believing the ego stories of disaster, I was able to listen to the truth. I know that this MUST be the perfect experience for me now. I know that my only purpose is to allow God to extend love through me in each moment of this experience. So all I need to do is to give my willingness to this and ask the Holy Spirit how He would have me love. I can choose only love or fear, so in choosing love the fear dissolves.
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