Together, We Light the Way

From 920: Being a Miracle Worker

How my life is becoming less complex and agitated as I let go of the separated world belief.

Now when something seems to disturb my world, I sooner or later (and more often sooner) see the disturbance not as something to fix or to regret, but something to forgive. Recognizing that everything is for forgiveness makes all of it very simple.

I was thinking this morning that I needed something I don’t have. Then I thought that if I do indeed need this in my life, it will be in my life. I give the illusion of need to the Holy Spirit. He knows what I need, and will supply all things that will not hurt me. If there is something I need to do, I will be told.

I was thinking how this applies to my body. I have been having trouble applying this principal to my desire for a certain body image because I did not want to surrender my control of this situation. So it felt very complicated with lots of issues. I would become agitated, feeling angry and guilty, and then fearful when my attempt to control went awry.

As I begin to loosen my grip on this situation, I feel lighter. I welcome peace into my life. When I again experience the need to control the outcome, I lose my peace. It’s all a matter of trust. I’ve been thinking that I don’t trust the Holy Spirit to take care of this. What I meant was, I don’t trust the Holy Spirit to manipulate form in the way that I want Him to. I don’t trust the Holy Spirit to make form important in the way that I think it is.

What the Holy Spirit is telling me is that I can trust Him to show me that form doesn’t matter; that it is meaningless. My job is to release the need for a certain outcome.

I was thinking of a time when my little one climbed up a little too high, and when he tried to get down, his feet didn’t touch the floor. He was so frightened and panicky. I told him that it was OK, that I would catch him, and that he could just let go. He desperately wanted down, but was afraid to release his grip. It seemed silly to me because I knew how little danger he was in, but it was very frightening to him.

That’s how I feel sometimes as I learn to relinguish my illusions. But just as my child took that leap of faith and trusted me, I am learning to do the same and put my trust in God. After the first time my son trusted me and he saw that it was OK, it became easier and easier to trust me in subsequent emergencies.

Again I see a parallel here. That is just how I’ve built my trust as I’ve gone through the Course. The first time I released my grip on illusions, it felt like free-falling in space, but then everything was alright. In fact, everthing was better. With each small relinquishment it becomes easier, and as the contrast between peace and chaos becomes more obvious, my motivation becomes stronger.

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