Journal for Day 25
LESSON 25
I do not know what anything is for.
The sentence that stands out to me in this lesson is that everything is in my own best interests. There was a time when I argued that point. How could being sexually abused as a child be in my own best interests? How could being sick and losing loved ones be in my own best interests? How could being impoverished be in my best interest?
I know now that the argument was not about any of those things, but rather that I simply did not want to give up the idea that I could finally discover a way to change the world so that it was kinder and gentler to me. I just hated the idea that not only was it impossible for me to change certain things but that on a different level, I was responsible for all that I experience. That desire to reject my responsibility extended to rejecting that I would have to change my thoughts if I wanted the world to be different, and it wasn’t going to happen tomorrow.
Once, I faced these objections and let them go, I looked at the fact that I judged all things according to how they affected my personal interests. I let that go, too as I realized that there is not actually a personal self in the sense that I perceived it. All things affect all aspects of the Sonship.
The Holy Spirit sees everything as either true or not true, whereas, the ego sees everything as either good or bad. So there was another area that I had to learn to see as the Holy Spirit sees. I had to learn that concepts are unimportant because nothing we think we know is absolute truth, it is only either helpful or not helpful.
As my mind has been purified a great deal, and as these ideas have been settled in my mind, it has become easy to see that everything is in my own best interests. If I care to use all situations for my awakening, I see that they are either helpful or not, true or not. I see that the personal story of Myron is really more of a parable than anything else and so it is a way to see what yet needs to be healed in the mind.
Yes, it does seem like there is a personal awakening going on here along with the awakening of the Sonship as a whole. And that is a good place to work from. It is the reason that Jesus tells us later that our only function is to accept the Atonement for ourselves. But as we each accept the Atonement, it is being accepted within the Consciousness of which we are all a part, and the Consciousness is being healed.
So as we each let go of the idea of personal interests and personal goals, and accept that our only goal is the peace of God, Awakening occurs on both levels. And everything that occurs within these interesting stories of life as a human brings us closer to that Awakening if that is our goal. If one is not yet ready to think about awakening, the life stories are helpful anyway as they bring each person closer to the day that they will be ready. There is, after all, a limit to how much pain we can withstand before we start looking for a better way. So everything really is in our best interests.
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