Journal for Day 44
LESSON 44
God is the Light in which I see.
To be honest, I was dreading this lesson. I have always found meditation so hard. This time, as I approached the lesson, I felt my heart sink. What if I still cannot do this lesson successfully? What will that mean for me? I recognized those as dark ego thoughts. Heavy thoughts. Discouraging thoughts. I asked Jesus to help me see this differently.
“God is the light in which you see. You are attempting to reach Him.”
That is the sentence that was most meaningful to me this morning. It was also intimidating. In attempting to reach the light, I am attempting to reach God. I felt fear course through me and again, I realized that is just old ego thoughts trying to darken my mind to the possibility, even to the desirability of success.
So I went to my sanctuary and I sat in my meditation chair. I bought it last year and it’s still like new. ~smile~ I began the meditation and I did notice so many ego thoughts showing up, but I repeated that God is the Light in which I see each time I noticed the thoughts. I remembered that when I say the name of God the angels surround the ground on which I stand. They are here to keep me safe and to shelter my mind from every worldly thought.
Around you angels hover lovingly, to keep away all darkened thoughts of sin, and keep the light where it has entered in (T-26.IX.7:1).
Angels light the way, so that all darkness vanishes, and you are standing in a light so bright and clear that you can understand all things you see (W-pI.131.13:2).
This was very comforting and it was encouraging. I started doing what the lesson said. I would notice thoughts and sink below them. In about 20 minutes, I achieved something I have never done before. I felt the Light of God surround me. I stayed with it for a couple of minutes longer and then I reemerged into the world. It was an extraordinary experience. I thanked Jesus for His help and the angels that they protected my mind from darkness.
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