Journal for Day 60
Lesson 56
1 (26) My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.
Over and over, Jesus tells us that it is our attack thoughts that hurt us. This morning as I was making my coffee, I noticed that the mind was chattering away. I stopped the runaway thoughts and looked at them. They were all attack thoughts. I am convinced that all ego thoughts are attack thoughts. Either they are blatant attack thoughts or they are more subtle attack thoughts.
Even the happier thoughts attack my invulnerability. For instance, the thought that I am getting really good at catching these thoughts implies that I am not perfect and that I am not yet safe. And yet, even with all of these many attack thoughts, God has kept my inheritance safe for me. So I am actually only attacking my sense of invulnerability. Why then is it important that I do anything about this? It is because what I believe is true for me and my belief in my invulnerability is causing me to suffer greatly. I am tired of suffering and want to remember my true thoughts.
2 (27) Above all else I want to see.
“Recognizing that what I see reflects what I think I am, I realize that vision is my greatest need.”
To see myself as I really am, I must let go of the image I have made of myself. This is my job right now, letting go of what I see so that vision will show me what I am. The ego mind is especially active right now. Because of the body issues that are happening, the ego senses that I am susceptible to its fear thoughts. How perfect that these are the lessons I am working on.
(28) Above all else, I want to see differently.
“While I see the world as I see it now, truth cannot enter my awareness.”
Jesus is not asking me to wait until the world is different in order to be happy and safe. He is saying that there is a world that I can see right now if I am willing to look past the world I presently see. The world I see right now is a reflection of the ego attack thoughts in my mind. As I am willing to give up those thoughts and embrace the true thoughts in my mind, the world will look different to me. Just as my ego thoughts are reflected on the world, God’s thoughts if held consistently in my mind will reflect His perfect love. I believe this is true because it is what Jesus promises in the Course.
My faith is reinforced as I consider those who have gone before me and proven that it is true.
4 (29) God is in everything I see.
“God is still everywhere and in everything forever. And we who are part of Him will yet look past all appearances, and recognize the truth beyond them all.”
It can seem to be impossible that God is in everything I see. That seems too inclusive to be true. There are some pretty awful things out there, and yet, to be true it must be inclusive. If there is anything in which God does not exist, then I am not safe and therefore I am not as God created me. I will not be fooled by the images I have made. Behind them is the truth reflected and I can choose to see that instead.
5(30) God is in everything I see because God is in my mind.
“I have not lost the knowledge of Who I am because I have forgotten it. It has been kept for me in the Mind of God, Who has not left His Thoughts.”
Ahh, now we see how it is that my true identity is held safe for me. It is being kept for me in the Mind of God. And God has not left me. This passage calls me a Thought in the Mind of God. How could I be any safer than this? Thought cannot be sick or guilty; it cannot be in pain nor can it die. And Thought in the Mind of God can only be what God is or it could not be in God. I am one with all of God’s Thoughts and one with God. I will remember this and everything I have believed before will fall away. My only job now is to allow myself to be convinced that this is what I want instead of what I made to take its place.
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