Together, We Light the Way

Gentle Healing Journal Day 7

Journal for Day 7
LESSON 7
I see only the past.

I had a strange reaction to this lesson. As I looked at each thing that caught my attention and reminded myself that I see only the past in it, I watched a quick slideshow of images from the past. I look at my battered copy of NTI and I see myself at Regina’s house at the dining table sharing a meal with her and Jasmine and Danielle. I see a group sitting in her living room, read from NTI and discussing a passage.

I look at my calculator and I see images from the past, working with calculators. I see myself sitting in my mom’s accounting office, adding columns of numbers, talking to her once in a while. I see my string of Buddhist flags and my mind fills with images of the woman who gave them to me, especially being at her house with guests who have come to see her ordained.
It went like this for a while, but I also noticed that there was an emotional reaction that came to a head when I looked at my hands and saw images from the past. Holding my baby, cooking for my family, fumbling with tools for some little project, handing my welder his stick and then looking away as he applied it to the metal. So many memories in only an instant of time. But that wasn’t really the surprise.
The surprise was the emotion attached to these images. I felt like crying.

What is that about, Jesus?

Jesus: Endings. You see the past as if it is still there, a long carpet rolled out behind you, and you are sad that it is coming to an end. You are sad that you didn’t do more with the time you had, enjoyed it more, made more of a difference, made fewer mistakes. The past breaks your heart, and yet, you cling to it as if it were the treasure your heart longs to keep.

This is why you keep it before your eyes; you don’t want to let it go. But, dearest Sister, in so doing, you are repeating the same mistake. Tomorrow, you will look back on today and wonder where it all went. You will list the things you did to convince yourself that life happened, but you will not succeed. You will feel a sense of loss, just as you do now because you are not living life. Instead, you are constantly reviewing the past.

That is why I have given you these lessons and led you to them. I want you to love your life, not pass it by while you dream of the past. Do these lessons again. Do them with dedication and devotion and in joy. Forget about every other time you have done them. Revel in this moment only. You will be delighted at the discovery you will make. Thank you for asking me.

NTI
Luke 17

I think that Luke 17 is my favorite so far. I did study NTI for months, but it was a good while ago and I had forgotten how simple and easy to read it is.
Luke 17 begins by reminding us of what we learned in 16. He reminds us that judgment is what makes thoughts seem real and that believing these thoughts we use them to decide the meaning of everything.

Here is a paragraph I underlined.
“Based on God’s law, the Spirit of God is one. There is no separate one that can offend or hurt you. There is only a collection of thoughts, which you hold within your mind. Of themselves, the thoughts have no meaning. And so you feel offended or hurt based on what you think you know.”

As I read that paragraph, I think of Byron Katie’s counsel to question our thoughts. I think I know what something means and that assumption is based on past learning that might be true and might not. Almost without thinking about it these days, I question my beliefs; is that true, am I sure it is true. Just asking myself the question reminds me that these thoughts in my mind are meaningless and that I give them all the meaning they have for me and most importantly, I can change that meaning.

Now here is another really good part.

“So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is simply an acknowledgment of the truth of how the offense or hurt has come about. It has not come from your brother. It has come from the meaning you have applied to thoughts within your mind. Without this meaning, you could not be hurt.”

The Holy Spirit follows up this excellent definition of forgiveness with this advice:

“And the, forgiveness is taking this realization one step further by acknowledging you do not want to be hurt anymore. You acknowledge that the meaning that has hurt you is within the mind. You are the owner or believer in that meaning, and so you are also the one that can let go of any meaning you have applied. And when the meaning is let go, the offense or hurt must disappear also. What was made has been undone.”

This makes forgiveness so easy to understand. This is why I never look for the offender outside me. I, instead, turn inward and look at the thoughts in the mind that I have interpreted with the ego mind. I then ask the Holy Spirit to show me another way to see this. ACIM, C 30, Rules for Decision has an excellent process for when this seems hard to do.

I’m sure that I am not the only one who has asked (perhaps with some discouragement) when will my perceptions be healed? The Holy Spirit gives an interesting answer to this question. He says that healing is not a matter of when, not a matter of time at all, but it is a matter of willingness.

“Forget about time and the future. Focus on now and the thoughts that are in your mind now. Lay aside resistance now. Dismiss meaningless thoughts now. Focus on your willingness and nurture gratitude for being. This is the process that brings about the healing of misperception, and it is a process of now.”

“The kingdom of God is with you now. Do not let yourself be distracted away from it.”

Clearly, this is not hard to understand nor hard to do. It does require vigilance, dedication, and devotion. I am happy to give all of that. What else is there to do that means anything in this world?

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