LESSON 78
Let miracles replace all grievances.
“Perhaps it is not yet quite clear to you that each decision that you make is one between a grievance and a miracle.”
I do realize this. Sometimes, I still kid myself that there are degrees of grievances, but I don’t really believe that and I change my mind as soon as I catch it. It is either miracle or grievance and there is nothing in between.
“You know the one to choose; his name has crossed your mind already.”
The name did come right away, no thinking needed. It is someone I love very much and yet someone I do not consistently see as the Christ. My mind wavers as it judges his behavior and as it imagines a future much like the past. Then I return to sanity and I see this one as he is for a while before I let my attention be drawn to the image I have of him. Sometimes even I can’t find proof for that image anywhere but in the past, and even then it is only proof of what my mind made of it.
“You will attempt to hold him in your mind, first as you now consider him. You will review his faults, the difficulties you have had with him, the pain he caused you, his neglect, and all the little and the larger hurts he gave. You will regard his body with its flaws and better points as well, and you will think of his mistakes and even of his “sins.”
I did that, but it is depressing to do so. I don’t want to ever return to that kind of thinking about him or anyone. At best it makes no sense and is foolishness, at worst it is tragic, at least in time, and that is where I see myself now.
“Let me behold my savior in this one You have appointed as the one for me to ask to lead me to the holy light in which he stands, that I may join with him.”
This is the miracle to which I am entitled. I ask for this. I insist on it. He is not standing in darkness, I am. I want to join him in the light and never forget who he is.
“The Holy Spirit leans from him to you, seeing no separation in God’s Son.”
I’m not interested in the image he has of himself or the image I have of him. I want only to see the reality that he is and the Holy Spirit is the bridge that brings us together in that vision. I am only as holy as he is and I don’t know either of us until I acknowledge that holiness in the of us.
The problem with casting my attention on the false image is that if I do it long enough, it becomes hard to look away. I am reminded of a story that I think was told by Brian Tracey or maybe it was Tony Robbins. Whichever it was, he had always wanted to be a racecar driver but knew that wasn’t going to happen. So he decided to have at least the experience of it once.
He hired a driver to teach him to race a car and while they were on the track and he was driving, they were going scary fast. He began to realize he was getting closer and closer to the wall. He was beginning to panic but then he heard the teacher calmly telling him to look away from the wall. It was very hard for him to do this because his fear of crashing kept him mesmerized by the wall.
But finally, the teacher got through to him. He took his eyes off the wall and his hands just naturally followed his eyes. Death from a fiery crash was averted. That story stuck with me and I remembered it just now thinking how hard it is to look away from my fear, and yet, how necessary it is that I do so. I’ve done this before; I know what will happen. When I look away from what I fear and cast my attention on what is true and helpful, I am fine, and the longer I keep my attention on the truth, the easier it is to stay there.
Regina’s Tips
Regina gave an especially helpful analogy that I recommend for anyone who doesn’t understand the importance of looking honestly at the situation. She then offers several ways to release them.
So as I was saying, first we let everything come out of denial so we can look at it, and then we …
Well, the next step really depends. You might:
• Ask God, Holy Spirit or Jesus to help you see another way. I used to imagine wrapping those thoughts, feelings and perceptions in a box, tying a beautiful bow around the box and then giving it to Holy Spirit as a gift. As I passed the gift to Holy Spirit, I let it go completely. After all, you aren’t giving a gift if you hold onto it, right?
• Practice rest, accept and trust while realizing you don’t want this anymore. This is a practice I moved to after I became more experienced with forgiveness.
Rest, Accept and Trust (RAT) is a simple reminder of your job in the healing process.
Rest the mind by withdrawing your attention/belief from obsessive thinking. If that is challenging, try positive healing-focused self-talk such as, “Ok, just breathe now. Take a deep breath. Now another. This is okay. This is coming up now because I have decided to heal. I want to heal. And in order to heal, things must come up. I am happy this is here, but I do not want to give it my attention. I want to rest attention away from this so it can be healed. I will focus attention on my breath. I trust healing is happening. I am happy for this opportunity.” Etcetera or something similar.
Accept the feeling. Allow it to be. Realize that as this feeing comes into awareness and is seen, it is healing. Stay out of the way. Do not try to change anything. It is just a feeling, an emotional energy and nothing more. Let it be as it is. Be grateful that healing is mysteriously occurring.
Trust that healing is occurring. You have done your part by resting and accepting. Clear awareness (God, Holy Spirit) is taking care of everything else. You have gotten out of the way so healing can happen. That is all you were asked to do.
• Practice inquiry, such as Byron Katie’s “The Work,” until you see through your previous way of thinking.
• Refocus your attention on awareness, and let the realization of truth heal the silly thoughts that you believed before.
My Thoughts
I’ve used all of these methods from time to time as well as recognizing that my grievances are just bad code and realizing that the only thing to do with bad code is to delete it.
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