Lesson 120
(109) I rest in God.
(110) I am as God created me.
It is very comforting to know that I am not the one who has to wake me up, that God is working in me and through me. My only part is to rest in Him and that seems to me to mean that I cast my attention on only the thoughts that are loving and peaceful. I am also asked to be perfectly certain that I am being healed. I think that for the first time ever, I am perfectly certain of that. My awareness is being brought back to the remembrance of my Self.
I am as God created me, I am His Son is also more meaningful to me now than ever before. I gladly put aside all sick illusions of myself and I am going to be alert to old thoughts of illusions that catch my attention so that I can change my mind. I want to be available to God as He works through me. I want to hear Him as He tells me Who I am.
Regina’s Tips
In summary, here are the keys to contemplation.
• When you contemplate the written word, read slowly and repeatedly with long silent pauses.
• Toss out your beliefs, preferences and all prior knowledge as you enter the sacred ground of contemplation.
• Listen or feel inwardly for some stirring that might be the birth of insight.
• Be like an explorer and follow what comes to see where it goes.
• Use inquiry to invite wisdom. Even “What does this mean for me?” can invite powerful personal insights.
• Reserve judgment and let the value of the contemplative experience reveal itself in its own time.
• Receive your daily bread with gratitude no matter how simple it may appear to be. Review it and practice it throughout the day. It is a step on your own personal stairway to heaven.
Manual for Teachers
“There can be no order of difficulty in healing merely because all sickness is illusion.”
This makes so much sense. An illusion is an illusion regardless of the form it takes and so healing is simply choosing to disregard the appearance of the illusion and to insist on the truth being made manifest. Maybe, like this: There is no headache, just the appearance of a headache, and I’m not interested. There is only Love and Love doesn’t hurt. Love is joyful and peaceful and that is all that is really going on right now and all I care to have in my awareness.
So if it is so simple and so easy, why does healing often feel so hard? Why is pain, physical and emotional, so persistent? I have let go of the belief in a number of different pains and after I worked my way through the first one, just being vigilant and persistent in what I knew must be true, the rest have been a lot easier. But, sometimes, I can’t do it. Why is that?
Here are some of the reasons that I have noticed.
I do believe that some hallucinations are harder to dispel.
I still identify with the body to such a degree that I can’t quite believe that the pain is not there, that the pain is actually in my mind as a belief in pain.
Sometimes I still value the sickness. I think the sickness has something to offer me.
The belief I am guilty and guilt calls for punishment.
It is helpful to note those beliefs that block healing. They are all just false ideas that the ego mind clings to and can be dispelled as I lose interest in them. Having owned up to them, I can look at each one with the Holy Spirit and let them be undone in my mind and thus weakened in the entire Sonship. Some of these ideas are very deeply rooted in the mind and thus take time to undo. I have gone back over them multiple times and will continue to do so until I have completely released them.
One thing I have discovered is that the whole process is easier if I don’t allow guilt to enter into it. I am not guilty for ego thoughts. That is just part of the human experience. I have also discovered that they weaken as I continue to release them. For instance, I still notice that I value sickness sometimes for what it can get me, but now the idea is just a vague thought in my mind and easily released.
The belief I am guilty and deserve punishment is a more subtle thought and I deal with that in many ways all the time. Eventually, the belief in guilt will be undone completely and then all the rest will go with it, I think. I have let go of so much guilt that this belief is becoming weaker now, but it still shows up either as a memory of something I did that I regret or as a projection on someone else. It is happening less often and I catch it more quickly now. It is good to see progress.
Text
“First, you believe that what God created can be changed by your own mind.
Second, you believe that what is perfect can be rendered imperfect or lacking.
Third, you believe that you can distort the creations of God, including yourself.
Fourth, you believe that you can create yourself, and that the direction of your own creation is up to you.
These related distortions represent a picture of what actually occurred in the separation, or the “detour into fear.” None of this existed before the separation, nor does it actually exist now. Everything God created is like Him.”
I like the way Jesus phrases our present experience. He calls it the separation and the detour into fear, and later he calls it the tiny mad idea. I am relieved Jesus doesn’t call it the unforgivable sin or the betrayal of God, or the last straw. However he describes it, he reminds us that in spite of how real it feels to us, it is only an illusion and never actually happened. He says this over and over in very clear and direct terms. It’s amazing really that we can read it over and over and still think it must mean something else.
I certainly spent a lot of time reading right over those words. Maybe I didn’t want to embarrass Jesus by pointing out his obvious error. ~smile~ I continued to look at the seeming proof that my story of pain and suffering was reality and that Jesus was delusional. Happy to say that my apparent mental confusion is a temporary illness and I seem to be recovering. I have not flung God from His throne, and reality has not abdicated to fantasy.
No matter how long I sit huddled within myself, quaking in fear and planning my defenses, God is still love, and nothing else exists except in my fevered imagination. I detoured into fear, but I have an internal guide to direct me to the straight and narrow path Home. Thus forward when I speak of being afraid or of anger and guilt, and when I am uncertain or doubtful, when I shake at the thought of death, could one of you give me a gentle shake? I still tend to fall back to sleep now and again.
When my mind is clear, I know I am the Son of God, the Son of Love. I know that only Love exists and so I must be Love as well. I know that I am whole, complete, and lacking nothing. I know that I have never left this state and that there is nowhere for me to go, nothing I need do, and no effort is needed to be me. Does an apple try to be an apple? God help me to obtain the clarity of an apple.
In spite of the clarity that I have gained, periodically my mind clouds and for a bit I think Reality has been set on its head by my imaginings, and momentarily I become confused and frightened again. The lovely thing is, once the awakening begins, the forays into darkness are shorter and less frightening because the light I have uncovered never completely dims and I see my way back so much more quickly.
Holy Spirit, I know I am the one wandering off the path, but I am also the one calling for salvation. When I become confused, please give me clarity. When I become afraid, please help me to see there could never be anything to fear. When I feel anger or disappointment at someone or something, point me inward. When I forget that eternal life is the only truth and I feel loss, comfort me and help me regain my vision.
Now that I have opened my eyes and see the words you gave me, Jesus, I can never again be entirely blind. I see, if only dimly, and the joy of that vision will not be denied. God created me and creation moves in one continuous line. I am like my creator and my creations. When my mind is healed, my creations are like my Father’s creations.
There does not in all of creation exist anything that is not Love. Whatever I see or think I see can be easily categorized as real or not real. No other description need concern me. No other action needs my attention. “Here it is, Holy Spirit, this belief, this seeming thing, or person or situation. Is it true? If not, please heal my vision.” How free I am! Thank you, God. I love you, God.
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