LESSON 136
Sickness is a defense against the truth.
“Sickness is not an accident. Like all defenses, it is an insane device for self-deception.”
“The aim of all defenses is to keep the truth from being whole. The parts are seen as if each one were whole within itself.”
“Defenses are not unintentional, nor are they made without awareness. They are secret, magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe.”
Jesus tells us that we choose sickness and we do know what we are doing, and that the forgetting we chose it is also a deliberate decision. We want to keep our story going, keep the laws we made to maintain the illusion and so we have established defenses against the truth and sickness is one of them. It is important that we learn to recognize these defenses for what they are so that we can make a different choice.
I saw through my defense one morning and I have never since doubted that I choose sickness and I now understand why I choose it. I was doing the lesson that morning, and it was one of the lessons that says I am not a body. Suddenly, I had a revelatory moment in which I knew this was true. I absolutely knew it. I sat there stunned at this sudden knowing.
Almost immediately before I could even think about what had just happened, I got really sick. I started throwing up and was feverish. I was living with my daughter at the time and my little granddaughter had been sick. I had the thought that I caught it from her, but also I knew enough to question that belief.
Then it hit me. I was defending myself from the truth that I am not a body. What better way to do this than to be sick? It all came together in my mind and when it did, I started laughing. So, there I was, hugging the toilet, throwing up and laughing like a loon. Because I had made another choice, even though I was not aware of making it, I chucked the whole defense system. I could not use sickness to convince myself that I was, indeed, a body. Within minutes the entire episode was over and I was fine.
Now when I read this explanation for sickness in this lesson, I have no doubt that it is true.
“Sickness is a decision. It is not a thing that happens to you, quite unsought, which makes you weak and brings you suffering. It is a choice you make, a plan you lay, when for an instant truth arises in your own deluded mind, and all your world appears to totter and prepare to fall. Now are you sick, that truth may go away and threaten your establishments no more.”
That was exactly what happened that morning. That was in 2006 or 2007, I think, and it made such an impact on me that I remember it like it was yesterday. It changed everything about how I view sickness. You might think I would never be sick again, but that’s not how it works, evidently. It seems we have a strong desire to defend our little world.
I have to rediscover my defenses each time. Sometimes it is enough to know what is happening and sometimes not. But I have noticed that I seldom get sick anymore and when I do, I don’t stay sick long because I remind myself of why I chose sickness. So, it has made a difference.
Jesus says we suffer pain because the body does. I love this sentence because it reminds me that I am not the body, nor am I necessarily subject to the body. As I come to know my Self as who I am, less often do I feel what the body feels. I am not free of the body because I am not free of my identification with it, but I see a difference now.
I know it is possible to be free of it even while still appearing to be the body because David Hawkins did it. He had two surgeries without anesthetics because he didn’t believe in pain. If one person can do it then it is possible for all. My purpose is not to be free of pain, though that would be nice, but to be free of the belief that I am the body and that I want to be the body. When that happens I will no longer be interested in these insane defenses.
“God knows not of your plans to change His Will. The universe remains unheeding of the laws by which you thought to govern it.”
“You can but choose to think you die, or suffer sickness or distort the truth in any way. What is created is apart from all of this.”
Oh, my gosh. All this suffering and pain that we experience, and for what? We are having crazy thoughts, that’s all. Nothing is done to reality and so nothing is done to us as we are part of reality. There is no world, there are no bodies and sickness and death do not exist. We fool only ourselves with our defenses and they would be called silly if they were not so tragic. Why do we keep hurting ourselves like this? Why do we resist that inner desire for God and for our true Home.
“The Thoughts of God are quite apart from time. For time is but another meaningless defense you made against the truth.”
As Jesus as told us before, time is an illusion. This was really hard for me to accept. I mean, I accepted it as a concept but it had little meaning to me in my life. I am learning, though, that time is the way I keep the truth from being true now. I keep it in the future which doesn’t exist and so I am safe from an encounter with it.
See what a good defense against the truth time is? Aren’t we clever in our insanity? Thank God that truth has a power far beyond defense and we have the means to achieve it. All we need do is welcome it. Again today, I will quiet my mind and allow the Holy Spirit to further heal my sick thoughts so that I stop defending against the truth.
And how will we know that the body has been healed?
“And you will recognize you practiced well by this: The body should not feel at all. If you have been successful, there will be no sense of feeling ill or feeling well, of pain or pleasure. No response at all is in the mind to what the body does. Its usefulness remains and nothing more.”
And look at this incredible promise.
“Perhaps you do not realize that this removes the limits you had placed upon the body by the purposes you gave to it. As these are laid aside, the strength the body has will always be enough to serve all truly useful purposes. The body’s health is fully guaranteed, because it is not limited by time, by weather or fatigue, by food and drink, or any laws you made it serve before. You need do nothing now to make it well, for sickness has become impossible.”
And then he tells this.
“Yet this protection needs to be preserved by careful watching. If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick.”
Ha! I knew there was a catch. ~smile~ And here is the solution to our forgetting.
“I have forgotten what I really am, for I mistook my body for myself. Sickness is a defense against the truth. But I am not a body. And my mind cannot attack. So I can not be sick.”
God, who am I? I want to know my Self.
Regina’s Tips
Let’s look at what this lesson has to say about the defenses we set up against truth:
~ “Defenses are not unintentional nor are they made without awareness.” — In other words, there is a conscious decision in favor of the defense. If my defense is sickness, there could be a tickle in the throat and then an immediate, even somewhat pleasurable, acceptance of, “I’m getting sick,” before I move into suffering. If my defense is busyness, there could be the joy of complaining about how busy I am to others. Or it might show up as using time on unimportant things first, until once again I create that sense of being too busy. Etc.
~ “They seem to be unconscious but because of the rapidity with which you choose. … It is this quick forgetting of the part you play in making your ‘reality’ that makes defenses seem to be beyond your own control.” — Whatever our defenses are, we create situations that keep us from seeking truth with our whole heart, whole mind and whole soul. Most people, wanting to believe their defenses are genuine, deny that they choose them. However, if we watch ourselves carefully, we will find ourselves making the choices that create defense situations. It can be seen, if we want to see it. (Remember not to judge yourself for what you find when you watch to discover your own defenses, but it is helpful to see how you block your own awakening so you can start to make different decisions when a similar choice-opportunity comes around again.)
~ “Yet who believes illusions but the one who made them up? Who else can see them and react to them as if they were the truth?” — And this is what we do. Whether our defense is sickness, family responsibility, busyness or something else, we decide to let it get in the way of seeking truth, and then we believe the situation is a genuine block that renders us helpless, because that is what we want to believe about it.
~ “[Truth] does not command obedience … Truth merely wants to give you happiness, for such its purpose is.” — We have the power to delay our own awakening for as long as we want. Truth will not force itself on us. We are the ones who need to ask ourselves, “What do I really want?” If we decide that we are interested in truth realization, then it is helpful to find how we defend against it.
Since memory can be faulty, I don’t recommend looking into the past to see if you set up this defense. If the defense is still an obstacle for you, it is because you continue to set it up as an obstacle now. Watch yourself going forward. Watch yourself for those quick decisions that you make that keep this defense in place so you can continue to avoid awakening.
Let’s bring awareness to the tricks that we play on ourselves. Let’s do this together, in love, as mighty companions joined in purpose.
My Thoughts
As usual, Regina adds some really good tips to help us use this lesson. I especially like that she points out other defenses. I also appreciate how she reminds us that we don’t have to look into the past to see how we set it up, if it is still happening, then look at how we are doing it now.
Manual for Teachers
There are so many ways I ask for what I don’t want. I ask for what the ego wants, but I am not the ego. The ego always thinks the solution is in the story, in the world of time and space. It prays for more money, a better relationship, a healthier body. If I think I am an ego, if I am highly identified with the ego mind, I believe these things will give me what I want.
As my mind has healed and I have begun to identify more closely with the self that God created, I realize that these are simply symbols of what it is I truly want. I want to be happy and peaceful. The ego mind thinks that having these things will give me peace and joy. But, while I may achieve a different relationship, a healthier body or more money, it is all temporary and the satisfaction is temporary. When I ask for what is not real, I ask it of the giver of the unreal. All the ego has to offer are shifting forms.
What I have learned is that I really want peace that never ends, and joy that is unaffected by anything. I want to remember what I am and I want to return to full and open communication with God. This is true prayer and it has been answered. I am accepting that answer as quickly and fully as I am able. Within that answer, all things needed are provided. If what I have asked for (and if it is in my life, I asked for it) does not bring me full joy, then it is not the will of God and so it is not my will. It is the ego separate will and I know that I can and want to choose again, this time asking from my true will.
Text
Proper Use of the Body
“Use it to bring the Word of God to those who have it not, and the body becomes holy. Because it is holy it cannot be sick, nor can it die. When its usefulness is done it is laid by, and that is all.”
Jesus says something that is not universally accepted, I think. He says that if we give the body over to our function as decided by the Holy Spirit, and we don’t use it for the ego’s purposes, sickness will be impossible to us because the body will have become holy. I have not experienced that yet, but then, I have not been fully surrendered yet.
I very much want to release all of the ego beliefs in my mind and, equally, I want to be the channel for God’s Word and only that. My desire along with my unwavering commitment will help me to accomplish this. In the meantime, I do the best I can in every moment.
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