II. Honesty
1 All other traits of God’s teachers rest on trust. Once that has been achieved, the others cannot fail to follow. Only the trusting can afford honesty, for only they can see its value. Honesty does not apply only to what you say. The term actually means consistency. There is nothing you say that contradicts what you think or do; no thought opposes any other thought; no act belies your word; and no word lacks agreement with another. Such are the truly honest. At no level are they in conflict with themselves. Therefore it is impossible for them to be in conflict with anyone or anything.
As I read this paragraph I thought of examples of how I am honest, and I thought of ways in which I have not yet achieved honesty.
There is nothing you say that contradicts what you think or do…
Here is an example of when my words and actions were not in accord. I was shopping one night to the background of a baby screaming his head off. I had thoughts about the mom needing to give it up and take that miserably unhappy child home.
Now that may have been true, but the meaning behind that thought was a judgment. I was really thinking that a “good” mother would take her child home. I didn’t say those words even in my head because I’m a good Course student and I know that she is innocent, but I obviously don’t believe it.
There was an inconsistency between my thoughts. I didn’t actually say any of these words out loud, but I said them to myself and I saw the inconsistency. I am not so interested in asking the Holy Spirit to heal my words, but rather I am asking that the belief from which the words came be healed.
I obviously did not see this woman as innocent. I saw her as guilty compared with someone who is innocent and so I am teaching myself separation. I felt annoyed with her because she reminded me of myself when I was in her position, shopping with a young child. I did not live up to my own expectations and felt guilty for it and I was projecting this old guilt onto her. I don’t want to teach guilt and so learn it, and yet, that is what I was doing. Inconsistency.
My lack of peace while shopping was not caused by a baby crying, but rather from my thoughts about the baby crying. My thoughts were inconsistent, my beliefs were inconsistent, and so I was conflicted. I was at war in my mind, and that was the cause of my unease.
I could allow this recognition to upset and discourage me, and at one time that is exactly what would happen and the war in my mind would escalate. That night’s incidence was different than it once would be, though. I was aware that I was not yet honest. I was happy to see the opportunities to look at the thoughts that point to inconsistent beliefs.
I am willing that all my beliefs be consistent with the truth, and so when I notice a thought that is not true, I am glad to have found it so that I can accept healing on behalf of us all. That, at least, is an honest statement.
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