II. The Shift in Perception, P 1
1 Healing must occur in exact proportion to which the valuelessness of sickness is recognized. One need but say, “There is no gain at all to me in this” and he is healed. But to say this, one first must recognize certain facts. First, it is obvious that decisions are of the mind, not of the body. If sickness is but a faulty problem-solving approach, it is a decision. And if it is a decision, it is the mind and not the body that makes it. The resistance to recognizing this is enormous, because the existence of the world as you perceive it depends on the body being the decision-maker. Terms like “instincts,” “reflexes” and the like represent attempts to endow the body with non-mental motivators. Actually, such terms merely state or describe the problem. They do not answer it.
I am open to letting go of any value that I have in the idea of sickness. If it holds no value to me, I will not want this idea and without the idea sickness will be impossible. As I stated yesterday, I see that we find value in sickness in two ways. Within the story, it can garner sympathy and a show of affection as well as be a way to avoid certain people or situations. It allows us to feel like victims and to feel unfairly treated.
I let go of the need to garner sympathy and affection by letting my mind be healed of the belief that I am unworthy of love. I notice the ego jumping in with that idea still, but I am not interested and if I feel the least bit interested, I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of such nonsense. I let go of the need to avoid saying no when I don’t want to by pleading sickness by recognizing that this is another example of the perhaps hidden belief in unworthiness. Now I just say no when I mean no and there is no need for an excuse.
The other use for sickness is as a defense against God. There is, first, a belief that God is angry with us for splitting off from Him and going our own way. This is not possible to do since God is all there is, so He cannot be angry with us for doing it. Then there is the reality that God is Love and Love is not anger. So, there is no reason to defend against God.
Another part of the defense against God is that we fear merging into Him and thus losing our sense of individuality. This feels like the ultimate sacrifice. Once we reach a certain level of healing, the idea of existing as our Higher Self feels good. By this time, we have learned to love peace and joy and to find drama distasteful.
But then there is the idea of giving up the Higher Self for the God Self and that feels scary because we can’t remember what it is like to be the Divine. We have felt separate for so long and have come to value individuality so deeply that we think it is the ultimate achievement with nothing more treasured than this. The idea of surrendering completely, letting go of this final illusion and merging into God is scary indeed.
Sickness feels like a small price to pay for the survival of the self. I think this is why Jesus puts such a strong emphasis on God’s Love and care for us. He says we are God’s own treasure, that God gave all of Himself to us in our creation. We are reminded over and over of our holiness and our perfection as part of God. Here is what he says in section 14. What Am I?
W-pII.14.1. I am God’s Son, complete and healed and whole, shining in the reflection of His Love. 2 In me is His creation sanctified and guaranteed eternal life. 3 In me is love perfected, fear impossible, and joy established without opposite. 4 I am the holy home of God Himself. 5 I am the Heaven where His Love resides. 6 I am His holy Sinlessness Itself, for in my purity abides His Own.
And in the beautiful Lesson 326, he says this.
W-pII.326.1. Father, I was created in Your Mind, a holy Thought that never left its home. 2 I am forever Your Effect, and You forever and forever are my Cause. 3 As You created me I have remained. 4 Where You established me I still abide. 5 And all Your attributes abide in me, because it is Your Will to have a Son so like his Cause that Cause and Its Effect are indistinguishable. 6 Let me know that I am an Effect of God, and so I have the power to create like You. 7 And as it is in Heaven, so on earth. 8 Your plan I follow here, and at the end I know that You will gather Your effects into the tranquil Heaven of Your Love, where earth will vanish, and all separate thoughts unite in glory as the Son of God.
W-pII.326.2. Let us today behold earth disappear, at first transformed, and then, forgiven, fade entirely into God’s holy Will.
These are the kinds of things I read from the Course to relieve the fear of change and to help me as I let go of any desire to be something I am not. Who on earth would treasure the frail and vulnerable body-self when God-hood is the alternative? It is only the ego mind that clings to the body as if it were a treasure. I am not the ego and I am completely willing to be purged of such ego thoughts. I long for my real life.
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