Sometimes I feel like there is a wall between myself and Heaven. The wall is made up of stones that are my wanting. What do I want? What do I think I want that is more than Heaven? My ego provides me with a wide array of “things” that catch my attention. The world is full of distractions. That is what it is for. When I see these things and think they are out of my reach, they become compelling, and I give my time and effort to attaining them.
When I first thought I might like to remove the wall, I tried to move the stones one at a time, and they were heavy and awkward. When I learned to seek help from the Holy Spirit, the bricks seemed to become lighter, and easier to move. Sometimes, I would take one down only to put it back in place because my desire to release it wasn’t complete. So it has been slow going.
I am starting to think, though, that the stones are not heavy at all. In fact, they are starting to feel ethereal. Instead of the Holy Spirit helping me to lift and move them, we are beginning a different process. He is teaching me to see through the stone wall. He is showing me how insubstantial it really is. The stones are an illusion. I think they are solid and heavy only because I want them to be solid and heavy. As I change my mind about that, I begin to think I can walk right through that wall. Right now I am still afraid to do it, but I am willing to release my fear. I invite the Holy Spirit into my mind and ask that He heal my fear thoughts.
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