Someone I know accused me of something I didn?t do. In the ego, being falsely accused brings up so much fear. First, if it is a false accusation there is nothing for me to fix. I can?t make it right. I can try to argue the point, but even the ego knows that too much arguing just makes it more real. ?Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.? So it just sits there, unresolved and seeming to taunt me.
I find it hard to look away, and the more I look the worse I feel. I feel that I have been attacked and since I can find no other way to defend myself, I return the attack. There must be something wrong with this person. If his accusation is so patently false, he must be projecting. He is showing his true colors. He said about me what he really feels about himself. Oh, fool that he is, he just tells the world his secrets when accuses me!
Strangely, though I feel completely justified in my attack, I do not feel better. I do not understand this. It makes perfect sense. I took the high road in not pointing out his error to him. I saw what was really happening. Why don?t I feel better? Why don?t I feel vindicated? Why is his accusation still just sitting there taunting me? And why is my justification sitting beside it?
Now not only do I feel diminished by his attack, I feel guilty because I found my brother wrong. Not voicing my judgment doesn?t lessen the attack as I thought it would. This is all his fault. If he had not made that totally unnecessary and untrue remark, I wouldn?t feel so bad. Oh my gosh! Did I just say that? Did I just give my power to him? Did I just make myself his victim? Cancel, cancel, I take it all back!
Oh lord, this is so confusing. I hate that man. I wish I didn?t know him and had never met him. It just gets worse and worse the more I think about it. OK, Holy Spirit, I need help. How do I get out of this? I hate this conflict. I don?t want conflict in my life. Please help me to unravel this.
?Myron, when you feel diminished it is because you think you can be diminished. You feel that the Son of God can be chipped away a little at a time by stray words flung about carelessly by others. I want to gently remind you that your wholeness is protected by God and has been so protected since your creation. Nothing can be taken from it. You are free, however, to experience yourself as less than if you so choose, but it doesn?t make it true. It is only a thought. You are equally free to change your mind about that thought, and choose to feel your wholeness instead. Then you will be experiencing the truth of who you are.?
?If you choose to experience your wholeness, you will be teaching your brother his wholeness without ever uttering a word. If he does not choose to look at your wholeness now, and he does not choose to experience his wholeness now, it does not matter. The gift was given and will wait for him. All gifts given through Me are given to all, and so the truth about you has been reinforced. As you continue to use all of the circumstances in your story to practice this, the truth will become more real to you than the ego stories you have written.?
?Holy Spirit, this feels so good. I feel much lighter and freer without the conflict. I don?t understand how I could have been so confused. It is really very simple. But what I have seen is that I am easily tempted back into the drama of the ego. Sometimes I hold onto the drama for a long time before I become willing to let it go. I feel very guilty about this, and a little scared, too. I feel that I can?t trust myself not to self-destruct. What if I get so far into the drama I can?t find my way out? What if I refuse to see the truth??
?Holy child of God, you are completely untouched by the play of your mind. You can only pretend to be hurt. Play all you want for as long as you like. Pain is self-limiting. You will always stop when the pain becomes unbearable. You have already spent too much time in joy to tolerate much pain, and now you stop yourself soon after you have begun. Continue to come to me with your errant thoughts and I will correct them for you. I will not hold your ?evil? deeds against you because God does not. You need not hold anything against yourself either.?
?There is nothing to be afraid of, precious one. If you become afraid of what you make with your thoughts, invite Me to join you in the experience. This is the same as exposing them to the light and the light will dispel the darkness of your thoughts. Do not be discouraged that you must repeat the process. That is what the world is for, to give you many opportunities to practice moving from darkness to light so that, slowly, you may become accustomed to the light, and learn that it is really the light you want.?
?Thank you, Holy Spirit.?
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