X. Release from Guilt, P 13
13 Like you, my faith and my belief are centered on what I treasure. The difference is that I love only what God loves with me, and because of this I treasure you beyond the value that you set on yourself, even unto the worth that God has placed upon you. I love all that He created, and all my faith and my belief I offer unto it. My faith in you is as strong as all the love I give my Father. My trust in you is without limit, and without the fear that you will hear me not. I thank the Father for your loveliness, and for the many gifts that you will let me offer to the Kingdom in honor of its wholeness that is of God.
Journal
When I read that Jesus said his faith and trust in me is without limit, I had to stop and just cry. I have been working on something that feels very hard to me. This means I have been listening to the ego tell me that it is hard, not possible, that I am not worthy; you know, all the stuff the ego says to keep me involved in the illusion. So here is what is going on for me today.
A couple of days ago I started having very bad nerve pain in a tooth. The dentist would say that I need a root canal. A few things fell into place for me. One is that I was reading FB posts and came across one from Lloyd Lapp. Here is the quote he was posting.
“There are those who have reached God directly retaining no trace of worldly limits and remembering their own identity perfectly. These might be called the Teachers of teachers because, although they are no longer visible, their image can yet be called upon. And they will appear when and where it is helpful for them to do so. To those to whom such appearances would be frightening, they give their ideas. No one can call on them in vain. Nor is there anyone of whom they are unaware.” ACIM M -26.2
Here is my comment.
“Life is so different now, Lloyd. I wonder how I could have lived so much of it in total ignorance, believing that only what most people agree on could be true, believing that only what I see with the body’s eyes could be real. I want to tell everyone to stop trying to make the world so small. Why live like that? Everything feels so much more expansive now; everything feels so possible. It makes me cry just thinking of it.”
I started thinking about all the help that is available to us, and about how I don’t very often take advantage of that help. So this is what happened next.
At the same time I was checking out FB, I was organizing my office, going through papers, filing and discarding. I came across a healing prayer. I used to do energy healing and one form I used was LaHo-Chi. It has this beautiful prayer that you say before you do the healing. I read the prayer and was once again touched by its beauty. I will add it at the end of this entry so that you can enjoy it as well.
Reading the prayer, I suddenly realized that it was meant for me to find it now. I put my hand on my face over the tooth, and said the prayer again, calling on healing masters to help me. (No one can call on them in vain. Nor is there anyone of whom they are unaware.) I felt like I was being led to a miracle, and I could accept it if I wanted to.
The next thing that happened is that I spoke to a friend and I told her about the prayer. I told her that I called on the LaHo-Chi and the LaHo-Chi masters and the Angels of Light to heal me. I told her that this was a denial of the ego laws, that I am under no laws but God’s and that Love heals in every circumstance and without exception. It was one of those times when I was spoken through, and I was as surprised at the passion and certainty as I am sure she was.
The pain continued and I continued to know that eventually it must subside as the tooth was healed. The ego was having a field day of course. It insisted that this could not happen and that I was not worthy of this. It offered lots of objections and tried to distract. Then it tried to take over through making plans to see the dentist… just in case. And of course I would go to the dentist if that was necessary, but I wasn’t buying it yet. Still, it was discouraging as the next day I continued to have pain and into the night.
This morning I talked to Jesus about it. I asked him for reassurance that my desire to accept the miracle of healing was not my ego’s idea and I received the assurance that he wants this for me and was directing me to this miracle. Then I started doing my morning work. I started with today’s lesson that says that I give everything all the meaning it has for me. I read what I had written before about this lesson and it felt very relevant to me right now. (http://forgivenessisthewayhome.org/2017/01/lesson-2-4/) Here is one paragraph as an example.
Clearly, there is no reason in the world to not be at peace all the time. I am in charge of how I feel. If I am unhappy it can only be because I want to be unhappy, because I have given everything I see all the meaning it has for me. As I learn this lesson, I see my way out of the ego belief in suffering. Suffering is a choice I make, a desire, something I want. It is the only way it could occur in my life.
In light of the Lesson, I give everything all the meaning it has for me, then yes, I suffer because of the meaning I have given something. I have a damaged tooth because of meaning I gave to the body. It was to be a separation device and a way to punish myself for my sins. Well it was working, but now I am giving it a new meaning. The body with its separation effects will become witness to the miracle I choose instead. Whatever I make to prove separation, the Holy Spirit will use to undo separation if that is my choice. I am not separate from God.
As I read this lesson and my journal, I began to feel more confident about the whole thing. Then I went on to read Chapter 1 of the Text. (http://forgivenessisthewayhome.org/2012/09/principle-of-miracles-1/) This is the oft quoted principle that tells us there is no order of difficulty in miracles. Could that be any more perfect as an antidote to the ego’s nay-saying? As I read what I had written in my journal before, I had to cry again. It was more encouragement. I wrote about a previous healing and how I used Lesson 190 to achieve it.
Jesus is with me on this 100% as this mornings paragraph from Chapter 13 is telling me that, “My faith in you is as strong as all the love I give my Father. My trust in you is without limit, and without the fear that you will hear me not.” (And so more crying. Ha ha.) So what is happening now with my tooth?
I am experiencing the effect of my conflicted thinking. One moment there is pain and the next the pain is gone; back and forth, just like my thinking. But I have faith in Jesus and because he has faith in me, my faith in myself is increasing. Where my faith falters, I trust that Jesus will strengthen me.
When I woke up this morning to more pain I was feeling very discouraged. I let my emotions surface and cried for awhile. Then I let Jesus show me my fear. It wasn’t fear of pain or fear of damage to the truth. All that can be dealt with. It was fear that I cannot, will not do this, will not allow the miracle of love to heal me. It is the fear that the truth is not true and today will be the day I prove that.
It felt like I would be personally responsible for not saving the world. Rather than being the light of the world, I would be the darkness that forever overwhelmed the light. I saw that, recognized it as more ego guilt resulting from asking the ego what this meant, and then I did the Rules for Decision to undo it. Thank you Jesus for that wonderful process. Regardless of how this situation turns out, now I know that I could not be guilty.
LaHo-Chi Prayer
Divine Source Mother, Father, God, we call ourselves
forward into the Light. We call for a clearing. We call for
the illuminate radiant form of our souls, through the Light
of the Christ and the Holy Spirit, to guide, direct, and take
us into the spiritual heart of God; and to bring forth the joy,
the peace, and the loving, within ourselves individually and
together.
We call forth the co-operative Spirit of Unity, the Light,
Love and Wisdom of the LaHo-Chi, the LaHo-Chi Master,
the Angels of Pure Consciousness, and all beings of the Light
of the highest, to assist us individually and together. We
call forth the healing and that which is our next step in
spiritual growth for our highest good.
We give thanks to the Holy Spirit for our transmutation
and transformation through the Divine Light.
We give thanks for perfect alignment within our spirit, soul,
and personality. We come together in one unifying energy as
one heart, one mind, and one Light. Amen, Amen, Amen.
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