XI. The Peace of Heaven, P 2
2 God would not have His Son embattled, and so His Son’s imagined “enemy” is totally unreal. You are but trying to escape a bitter war from which you have escaped. The war is gone. For you have heard the hymn of freedom rising unto Heaven. Gladness and joy belong to God for your release, because you made it not. Yet as you made not freedom, so you made not a war that could endanger freedom. Nothing destructive ever was or will be. The war, the guilt, the past are gone as one into the unreality from which they came.
Journal
Again I am looking at the idea that the ego and every effect of separation are gone, do not exist and cannot endanger my freedom. And again I remember that Jesus said that I but do this to myself. I deliberately choose, moment to moment, to believe I am separate from God, or I am choosing to let that idea go and realize I am in God and have never been anywhere else. All along, from the moment of conception to the moment of rejection of the idea of separation, nothing has happened. It would never be the Will of God that I be embattled; therefore, it could never occur.
A couple of days ago I wrote about accepting healing for this painful toothache. I felt strongly that I was supposed to work with this. I still have the problem. The tooth is rotting away from the inside and the dentist said it cannot be saved and must be removed. He gave me these wonderful pain pills and some antibiotics, and I appreciate the magical solution to the magical problem since I seem not to be ready to accept the unreality of the situation. Nothing like pain to reinforce the idea of the body as very real.
But it is not as real as it used to be, even in pain. The pills I take for the pain interfere with my thinking. Yesterday I chose to have the pain subside while I did my writing and posting. I talked to Jesus about it. I explained that I needed a clear head for this work. I also needed to drive to my daughter’s house and I can’t drive while taking the pills, and I certainly can’t help her with the baby while I am fuzzy headed. So yesterday there was no pain until later that day when I got home.
It reminds me of something similar that happened to me. A few years ago I was planning to attend a workshop with Regina Dawn Akers that would last several days. I began having really bad pain in my lower stomach area and I thought it might be related to my bladder. It only happened when I was sitting but when it came on I could barely stand it. There wasn’t time to go to the doctor and the idea of flying for hours and then sitting for the workshop for days was not good.
On the other hand, I knew I was supposed to be at that workshop. So I talked to Jesus about it. I asked for relief of the pain so that I could go to the workshop and be able to appreciate it, which would not be possible if I was in this much pain while there. The pain completely disappeared. I didn’t have pain sitting on the plane or at any time during the workshop. The flight back was pain free. When the plane touched down at my home airport, the pain came back. The next day I went to the doctor and got medicine for bladder spasms.
I have had a number of other similar experiences. So here is the thing, pain is not real. If it were real it would have been out of my control, and clearly it is not out of my control. When I needed it to be gone, it was gone. I called on Jesus to help me, which is symbolic of calling on Love to help me. It is living from my reality, my true self. This begs the question, “Why don’t I do this all the time? Why don’t I allow full healing?” And honestly, I don’t know.
I do know I was called on to work with this. I am familiar with the feeling and the Voice, enough to recognize it when I hear it, certainly. I don’t feel like it was a waste of time because it did not seem to work. I assume it is the practice I need to get to a place where I am ready to accept that, “Nothing destructive ever was a or will be.” So I am continuing my practice as I have in the past. I am continuing to ask that my mind be healed of the belief in destructive influences. I am grateful for the witnesses to the truth that have been given me. I surrender once again and again until I want nothing except the truth.
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