XI. The Test of Truth, P 1
1 Yet the essential thing is learning that you do not know. Knowledge is power, and all power is of God. You who have tried to keep power for yourself have “lost” it. You still have the power, but you have interposed so much between it and your awareness of it that you cannot use it. Everything you have taught yourself has made your power more and more obscure to you. You know not what it is, nor where. You have made a semblance of power and a show of strength so pitiful that it must fail you. For power is not a seeming strength, and truth is beyond semblance of any kind. Yet all that stands between you and the power of God in you is but your learning of the false, and of your attempts to undo the true.
Journal
I don’t know. I don’t know what anything is for and I don’t know what anything means, and I don’t want to try to figure it out for myself. That has been my problem in the past. I judge what things mean using only my ego mind and this judgment closes me off from any real knowledge. It is like all the information I have gathered with the thinking mind is stacked up like bricks making a wall. The power of God, true Knowledge, is on the other side of that wall, where it seems to be out of reach.
The only way to have Knowledge is to take down that wall of self-achievement. I begin by acknowledging that my hard won ‘knowledge’ is useless. It is meaningless and of very limited helpful. The ego strongly opposes this outlook, but not because these bits of information are actually useful, but because they represent the ego’s value to me. Without the belief that the ego has value, why would I want to keep it? When I lose interest in the ego, it is gone.
The ego argues that I need this information in order to survive here. But this isn’t true. I can actually do quite well without the ego knowledge I have accumulated. What I have discovered is that when I let go of the idea that I know, I become open to Holy Spirit and He guides me to what I need to know, to say and to do.
This view that I don’t need to find answers myself, but can simply receive whatever I need to know through open-hearted listening is radically different from what I have believed to be true. It is also far more valuable than anything the ego could offer. The only way to prove this to yourself is to do it.
It isn’t hard. Just put your day in His hands and ask Him what to do next, what to say, where to go. Then do what occurs to you to do. At first, you will make mistakes, listening to the ego rather than Holy Spirit. And you will probably experience some resistance to this, maybe a lot. But as you continue to practice surrender, you will experience an amazing lightness and freedom. I am reminded that Jesus advised us that before we do anything to ask him if our choice is in accord with his. If you are sure that it is, there will be no fear.
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