III. Littleness versus Magnitude, P 10
10 Decide with me, who has decided to abide with you. I will as my Father wills, knowing His Will is constant and at peace forever with itself. You will be content with nothing but His Will. Accept no less, remembering that everything I learned is yours. What my Father loves I love as He does, and I can no more accept it as what it is not, than He can. And no more can you. When you have learned to accept what you are, you will make no more gifts to offer to yourself, for you will know you are complete, in need of nothing, and unable to accept anything for yourself. But you will gladly give, having received. The host of God needs not seek to find anything.
Journal
Last night I started to feel sick. I could tell I had a fever and I felt congested. I was disappointed. I have been around sick people and I had decided not to believe in “catching” sickness, which is clearly not possible. I can only decide on a thing, not succumb to a thing. And yet, here I am with congestion. This morning I don’t feel really bad, but I am aware of some physical symptoms. The ego-mind wants to make the body the focus of attention. I’m really grateful for this passage to work on this morning as it is helping me to see this differently.
What I did was to read it in first person. I said to myself that I will decide with Jesus, who has decided to abide with me. I am filled with love and gratitude to my brother that he has decided to abide with me. He wills as God wills and I will follow suit. I will as God wills and God wills perfection. I don’t feel perfect right now when I identify with the body, but I remain perfect none-the-less. As I shift my focus from the body to mind, I notice that sickness of the body fades from awareness.
As I am more able to accept nothing less than God’s Will, I remember that everything Jesus learned is mine. Jesus does not accept sickness and suffering as real or necessary, so there is no reason for me to do so either. When I focus on the body and believe I am the body, I suffer what the body suffers. When I focus on the truth of my being and what that means, I am unaware of the body sensations.
It is interesting and enlightening to watch this in action. I think about what is going on in the body and I feel bad. I forget about the body and think about my quiet time with Jesus as he clarifies his Course for me, and I feel good. Back and forth this goes and I see clearly that sickness and suffering are only as real as I make them.
It is also quite interesting how drawn I am to pay attention to the bodily symptoms even though I have proven it is neither necessary or in my best interest to do so. What a strange gift I give myself, this idea of sickness that I have projected onto the body. I will to accept what I am in truth rather than what the ego mind says I am. I don’t need these “gifts” of the ego, being complete as God created me. I give the Holy Spirit these twisted thoughts of sickness and suffering and ask that He heal my mind of them.
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