IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 1
1 This course is not beyond immediate learning, unless you believe that what God wills takes time. And this means only that you would rather delay the recognition that His Will is so. The holy instant is this instant and every instant. The one you want it to be it is. The one you would not have it be is lost to you. You must decide when it is. Delay it not. For beyond the past and future, where you will not find it, it stands in shimmering readiness for your acceptance. Yet you cannot bring it into glad awareness while you do not want it, for it holds the whole release from littleness.
Journal
I want to remind myself of what the holy instant is. I think a very inclusive definition can be found in the Glossary –Index of A Course in Miracles by Ken Wapnick. It says this. It is the instant outside of time in which we choose forgiveness instead of guilt, the miracle instead of a grievance, the Holy Spirit instead of the ego; the expression of our little willingness to live in the present, which opens into eternity, rather than holding onto the past and fearing the future, which keeps us in hell; also used to denote the ultimate holy instant, the real world, the culmination of all the holy instants we have chosen along the way.
So now I am going to look at the first sentence, which tells me that this course is not beyond immediate learning. Then I am going to have a little laugh before I go on. Ok, I am sure that Jesus is right. I could have chosen to know that God’s Will is immediate and therefore it is so right now. I just did not.
As Jesus says, the holy instant is this instant and every instant according to my decision. It is any instant I want it to be. And if I accept the first meaning, that I have chosen forgiveness over guilt in this instant, then, yes, I have done that. I have done that many times. And I have chosen the miracle rather than the grievance. I have even chosen many moments in which I existed in the present rather than the past or future.
It is only when I look at the second meaning that I laugh at the idea I might have chosen complete freedom, the real world once and for all, and that I could have done so at any time. For a long time, it seemed so far from a possibility for me. Now it doesn’t so far-fetched and yet, I find it hard to accept that all I have to do is decide for it and it is mine. How is it that I do not want it?
That is so crazy. I have had many holy instants over the years and many more than that in the last year or so, and still, I have not fully accepted it though it stands in shimmering readiness for my acceptance. I don’t want to delay it longer and so I am excited about this section on practicing the holy instant.
Here I am, Lord.
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