III. From Darkness to Light P 2
2 God’s Son is indeed in need of comfort, for he knows not what he does, believing his will is not his own. The Kingdom is his, and yet he wanders homeless. At home in God he is lonely, and amid all his brothers he is friendless. Would God let this be real, when He did not will to be alone Himself? And if your will is His it cannot be true of you, because it is not true of Him.
Journal
It is so important that I accept the truth that God’s Will is my will. This imagined will I have made to take the place of my true will is hurting me. It tells me that I am endangered and in need of defense. It tells me that I am alone and apart from all of creation. It tells me that I must find special people from whom I can take what I think I lack and somehow this is going to ensure my happiness.
No wonder I often feel alone and friendless, small and frail. I have a voice in my head that teaches me this is true, and sadly, I made this voice, and I keep it intact by listening to it. I call it my will and I value it in spite of the bad advice it continues to give me. I treat it as if it is what I am, and I defend it against God.
All along I have a true will, the will I share with God. It sits alongside the small personal will that I have been listening to. I can reclaim my true will by simply desiring to do so. Sometimes I think that I have done this, and I feel such joy and peace you wouldn’t believe. I cannot imagine why I ever wanted a separate will.
Then I return to my separate made-up self and again I am enthralled with the idea that I need it. I think I need to defend myself against a co-worker and I cannot use God’s Will to attack so I pick up my little self will again. Or I think that I need to look different, or I need more money, or I believe I am guilty, and God’s Will does not recognize any of this as true, so I turn to the little will. It brings me proof that I am right to be afraid and offers me lifetimes of advice that has never met a single one of these needs.
I am tired of wandering homeless. This prodigal daughter longs for her Father and the Will she shares with Him. This is why I am so grateful to my brother, Jesus, for bringing into action the solution to this dilemma. Thank you, Jesus, for the Atonement. Thank you for your devotion to the Atonement. I am grateful for the Holy Spirit, the Bridge that will allow me to cross from the illusory world to my true Home. The peace of God is everything I want.
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