V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 16
16 Do not underestimate the appeal of the ego’s demonstrations to those who would listen. Selective perception chooses its witnesses carefully, and its witnesses are consistent. The case for insanity is strong to the insane. For reasoning ends at its beginning, and no thought system transcends its source. Yet reasoning without meaning cannot demonstrate anything, and those who are convinced by it must be deluded. Can the ego teach truly when it overlooks truth? Can it perceive what it has denied? Its witnesses do attest to its denial, but hardly to what it has denied. The ego looks straight at the Father and does not see Him, for it has denied His Son.
Journal
What Jesus seems to be telling me in this paragraph is that the ego has something to say and if I am interested and want to believe it, then I will. That does not make it true, it only means that I want it to be true. When I was holding a grievance against someone, I saw justification for that grievance every time I was around this person.
The grievance was the ego interpretation of this person’s actions and I was fully buying into that interpretation. But when I realized how painful it is to separate myself in this way, I changed my mind. I decided that I wanted to be happy and I asked for help to see differently. My prayer was answered and I began to see this person’s actions in another way as I chose to become aware of the Holy Spirit’s interpretation.
Now when I see him I smile. Every time. It just makes me happy to see him. Nothing changed about this person. The only change occurred in my mind. I wanted to see the Christ that was in him, and so Christ Vision was given me. The transition from seeing with ego and seeing with Holy Spirit seemed to take time because I needed time to fully let go of my judgments.
I had a lot invested in my grievance and I had to divest myself of it. I continued to see, first with ego then with Holy Spirit for awhile as I learned through contrast that the ego had nothing to offer that I want. The ego can show me what I think I want, but it cannot show me truth. Once I make a new decision, I understand why I want the truth. The ego illusion was blinding me to the Son and thus to God.
How could the Son of God stand right in front of me and I not see Him? I saw what I wanted to see. That is all the ego does for me. It shows me what I want to see, not what would make me happy, not the truth. The ego cannot give me those things because the ego doesn’t have them to give. The power to choose is mine. To see God, I must choose to see His Son. What grievance could be more important than that?
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