V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 6
6 Yours is the independence of creation, not of autonomy. Your whole creative function lies in your complete dependence on God, Whose function He shares with you. By His willingness to share it, He became as dependent on you as you are on Him. Do not ascribe the ego’s arrogance to Him Who wills not to be independent of you. He has included you in His Autonomy. Can you believe that autonomy is meaningful apart from Him? The belief in ego autonomy is costing you the knowledge of your dependence on God, in which your freedom lies. The ego sees all dependency as threatening, and has twisted even your longing for God into a means of establishing itself. But do not be deceived by its interpretation of your conflict.
Journal
I had an interesting reaction to this paragraph. I felt reluctance to the idea that I must give up my independence and be completely dependent on God. It was interesting to me because I didn’t think that I would have that reaction. Well, it is an ego reaction, but I identified with it so it affects me. All that I can do with that is to give it to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to heal my mind of the desire to be independent of God, so that is what I did.
My favorite sentence is this one. “By His willingness to share it, He became as dependent on you as you are on Him.” How incredible that God gave of Himself like this in my creation. How different is this snapshot of God than the picture of Him that I have held for so long. When I think I must cling to my independence of God, I am picturing a grasping, jealous, maybe even evil, God, who would take from me this prized possession. But if God created so generously, so fearlessly, then I am wrong about Him, and wrong to be afraid of Him. If God is dependent on me then surely I am mistaken to think I must be independent of Him.
There is truth in my mind just behind all the ego thoughts. I long for my memory to return, and with it my awareness of God and His all encompassing love. I long to be as fearless as God, as generous, as loving. I am willing to let go of the idea that I am the ego or even that the ego is part of me. I am willing to see the ego as an idea in the mind and not one I am interested in. I am dedicated to this purpose.
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