VI. Waking to Redemption, P 7
7 You will not find peace until you have removed the nails from the hands of God’s Son, and taken the last thorn from his forehead. The Love of God surrounds His Son whom the god of crucifixion condemns. Teach not that I died in vain. Teach rather that I did not die by demonstrating that I live in you. For the undoing of the crucifixion of God’s Son is the work of the redemption, in which everyone has a part of equal value. God does not judge His guiltless Son. Having given Himself to him, how could it be otherwise?
Journal
How do I remove the nails from the hands of God’s Son? When I feel guilty for something I said or did, past or present, I remember that I am redeemed. I am forgiven. In this way, I am teaching innocence to myself, and undoing the crucifixion. It is the same when I make someone else guilty. I undo the crucifixion of the Son the moment I realize what I have done and ask for healing.
I have had the experience, as I expect everyone else has had, of being reluctant to forgive. It seems that it is myself I crucify the most often, and myself that I resist forgiving. It makes no difference if it is myself or someone else; in my refusal to forgive I am condemning the Son of God. Either way, myself or someone else, I am teaching guilt and so learning guilt, and blinding myself to innocence.
If I tell myself that I want to forgive but just can’t, I am being dishonest. The resistance to forgive is the desire to judge, to hold a grievance, and the desire to remain in the illusion of separation. It is a decision I make, a choice. When I am ready to be happy I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind and to show me another way to see this.
The more often I accept the Atonement for my judgments and release my grievances, the less I am able to tolerate the effects. I want the ease, and the lightness and the joy of being forgiven and forgiving. I laugh at myself sometimes when I realize that I am crucifying myself. I remember hearing Dolly Parton remark about someone doing this to himself. She said, “Get down off the cross. We need the wood.” Ha ha.
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