VIII. The Problem and the Answer, P 8
8 Beautiful child of God, you are asking only for what I promised you. Do you believe I would deceive you? The Kingdom of Heaven is within you. Believe that the truth is in me, for I know that it is in you. God’s Sons have nothing they do not share. Ask for truth of any Son of God, and you have asked it of me. Not one of us but has the answer in him, to give to anyone who asks it of him.
Journal
Sometimes I wonder how it is that I can ask for an answer to a problem and seem not to receive an answer. Jesus says that this cannot happen, so I think it is that I am asking the wrong question or that I don’t want the answer, or maybe I have decided how the answer must come and in what form.
When I was having so much trouble seeing my co-workers with Christ Vision, I kept asking for help. I said that I wanted my mind to be healed. I asked for my mind to be healed because I understood that the problem was in my mind, not in the workplace. But I still wanted them to be different. I wanted them to change to people I could like and enjoy working with.
So you see, the hold-up in getting the answer was my confusion about what I wanted. Eventually, I was able to let go of the confusion and to simply desire a healed mind. Miraculously, I began to enjoy my co-workers. They were just the kind of people I like to work with. And of course they are. They, as I know them, are just an illusion and an illusion I called forward. When I released that illusion, I experienced them in a new way.
Here is another example. I have a friend who drinks a lot. I think that she is on the edge, teetering between being a heavy drinker and being an alcoholic. It worries me, and it also makes me uncomfortable. Having lived with and around alcoholics I know how destructive this behavior is. It also brings up unpleasant memories for me.
My prayer for this situation was that her mind be healed. Ha ha. But I really did believe that the problem was out there in her behavior. I am not ever totally insane anymore so I asked the Holy Spirit to clarify this for me. I saw that the problem I have is twofold. First I don’t want all that unhealed and unforgiven past coming up to haunt me again. It is not healed because I don’t want to forgive it.
The second part is that I see her has having a problem, as being unhealed. This may be true in the story, but in my mind there was no distinction. She was my friend the alcoholic, or something near it. I saw her as damaged and possibly on her way to ruination. So, in essence, my prayer was something like this. “God, here is your alcoholic child. Heal her.” I wanted God to agree with my assessment of my friend and then do something about it.
I imagined God smiling gently and waiting for me to ask a reasonable question so He could answer it. Eventually I did so. I asked that my mind be healed. I chose to accept the Atonement for my self, forgiving the past so that I could see the present more clearly. I asked for help to see my friend in all her beautiful glory instead of this dark image I had made. As for what I could do in the story, I asked to be given the direction and words that would be helpful should that moment ever occur.
God always answers. I must ask a clear, reasonable question and I must be willing to hear the answer.
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