III. The Investment in Reality, P 4
4 Recognize what does not matter, and if your brothers ask you for something “outrageous,” do it because it does not matter. Refuse, and your opposition establishes that it does matter to you. It is only you, therefore, who have made the request outrageous, and every request of a brother is for you. Why would you insist in denying him? For to do so is to deny yourself and impoverish both. He is asking for salvation, as you are. Poverty is of the ego, and never of God. No “outrageous” requests can be made of one who recognizes what is valuable and wants to accept nothing else.
Journal
What I understand from this is that my brother is always asking for love and that is what I want to give him. There is no circumstance in which love is not the answer. Here is an example of how I made a choice for love in my life.
When I left my husband, he wanted me to come back. I couldn’t understand why he wanted that. When I asked him if he was happy in the marriage, he admitted he wasn’t, and yet he thought he wanted the marriage to continue. What I eventually recognized is that what he really wanted was to be loved.
It took awhile for us to work this out because I was confused about how to do this and still not be married to him. Finally, I did my own mind healing work and I forgave the relationship completely. When I did this, he began to feel the forgiveness, and then I was led to apologize to him for my part in the relationship. This was the thing he needed to hear.
I couldn’t do it at first because I thought it was outrageous to apologize. I believed in his guilt and so no matter what I said, that belief was what he heard. Once I truly let the grievance go, I just naturally gave him what he needed. He never apologized to me for his part but that is OK. I didn’t need an apology because I no longer believed in his guilt. We are friends now.
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