I. The Judgment of the Holy Spirit, P 4
4 There is nothing to prevent you from recognizing all calls for help as exactly what they are except your own imagined need to attack. It is only this that makes you willing to engage in endless “battles” with reality, in which you deny the reality of the need for healing by making it unreal. You would not do this except for your unwillingness to accept reality as it is, and which you therefore withhold from yourself.
Journal
When someone thinks they are attacking me, I don’t have to see it that way. Suppose I fail to do something at work and my boss reprimands me for that. I could see it as an attack, thinking that I have lost value in his view, that maybe I could get fired. I could imagine my image has value, and it has been threatened and I need to defend it. Or I can see he might be right and ask what I can do to correct the problem.
What determines my response to a perceived attack? It is never about what actually happened, nor is it about the other person. My response is always a reflection of my view of reality. In reality I cannot be attacked. I am Love and perfect and part of God. I am invulnerable. When I see myself as attacked and in need of defense, I have questioned reality and decided against it. I have convinced myself I am something I could never be, and that thing is vulnerable and weak, and so, in need of constant defense.
When I accept my reality, I lose my need to defend. I simply hear what is being said as love or a call for love, and, whichever it is, I answer with love. If my boss is unhappy with my performance, either he is giving me valuable information I can use to correct the problem, or he is projecting his fear onto me. Either way, I know what to do.
I had noticed a knee jerk reaction to any criticism my boss made of me and, often after I reacted, I would realize that there was absolutely no reason to defend myself. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me with this. I didn’t need to analyze it; I just turned the situation over and expected correction.
The other day, my boss stood by my door for a moment as I was typing out a letter. Then he said, “After all these years, you would think you could type a little faster.” Immediately I laughed and replied that the worst part is not only do I type slowly, but I type badly. This was a complete turnaround from the way I used to react to his comments. I didn’t change my behavior, just my mind. I chose to see love and that is what I saw. I am teaching myself to recognize reality.
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