Chapter 12: V. The Sane Curriculum, P 5
5 You have learning handicaps in a very literal sense. There are areas in your learning skills that are so impaired that you can progress only under constant, clear-cut direction, provided by a Teacher Who can transcend your limited resources. He becomes your Resource because of yourself you cannot learn. The learning situation in which you placed yourself is impossible, and in this situation you clearly require a special Teacher and a special curriculum. Poor learners are not good choices as teachers, either for themselves or for anyone else. You would hardly turn to them to establish the curriculum by which they can escape from their limitations. If they understood what is beyond them, they would not be handicapped.
Journal
If you have a problem with math, don’t come to me. I can add and subtract and multiply, but beyond that, I have few skills. I would be a poor teacher of math. If you don’t understand algebra or geometry, you need a special teacher with a specific curriculum. And I assure you, if you are as lost in higher mathematics as I am, without a math teacher and without a curriculum designed for this special thing, you are going to be lost. You would not be able to teach yourself.
I did so badly in algebra when I was in school, that one time after I was grown, I decided to try it again. I went to the library and checked out a book written for math simpletons, like me. I did better with this special curriculum than I did in school, but without the right teacher, there was only so far I could go with it.
When it comes to love, I need a special teacher, even more so than I do in math. I have little understanding of what love really is. A Course in Miracles has provided me with a special curriculum, and the Holy Spirit is my Teacher. With this help I am beginning to recognize what is not love, and that is the foundation I was missing.
Here are a couple things that I have learned that help me recognize what love is not. It is not love when I yearn to be with someone because I feel empty. That is using the person, not loving them. It is not love when think that I am incomplete, that is neediness and it too leads to using. It is not love when I comfort someone who is grieving because that person’s grief makes me uncomfortable.
Here is something I have learned about love through my Teacher. Love isn’t something I find in someone else, and it is not something I can lose. I have learned that Love is what I am and so I don’t need someone else to provide it, nor can I lose it. And something else I learned is that in order to know the love that I am, I must share it. It is not something I get, but it is something I give, and it is something I recognize in the giving.
ACIM is a good curriculum, and the Holy Spirit is a good and faithful Teacher. I understand that I can progress only under constant, clear-cut direction, and I get this direction from Him. I choose to follow His Guidance and not turn to the ego mind that knows nothing. I have learned that much at least.
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