V. The Sane Curriculum, P 8
8 You who have tried to learn what you do not want should take heart, for although the curriculum you set yourself is depressing indeed, it is merely ridiculous if you look at it. Is it possible that the way to achieve a goal is not to attain it? Resign now as your own teacher. This resignation will not lead to depression. It is merely the result of an honest appraisal of what you have taught yourself, and of the learning outcomes that have resulted. Under the proper learning conditions, which you can neither provide nor understand, you will become an excellent learner and an excellent teacher. But it is not so yet, and will not be so until the whole learning situation as you have set it up is reversed.
Journal
Our mind is split between God and ego, and as we use ego mind we are unable to learn or teach, because the ego mind has an absolute rule, that is, to seek and not find. So whatever I try to learn through the ego will inevitably fail, as will my efforts to teach. The part of my mind that is God can and will succeed in teaching and learning because it is not conflicted in its goal. All that is needed from me to be a successful learner and a successful teacher is that I listen to God only. With practice I have learned that I can do this, and doing it has taught me that I want to do it.
As part of my practice of learning to listen to only the God part of my mind, I have become very good at being vigilant for my thoughts. Yesterday, I was very aware of how the ego attempts to keep my attention and thus perpetuate the separation idea. First it gives me a problem. It attempts to disrupt the peace of my mind with either a possible future problem, or a regretful past.
If I am interested, that is if this thought triggers a belief in my mind, I think there is really a problem that needs to be solved. Then the ego attempts to give me a solution to the problem. The solution will not work, of course, because the problem is the goal, not the solution. This plays over and over in the mind. I have no idea if I can stop the ego attempts, but I can stop believing in them. I can stop listening to the ego by listening to the Holy Spirit instead.
I didn’t sleep much last night and the ego started in with the “problem of not much sleep” before I even got out of bed. Then it started in with solutions for this problem. I asked Holy Spirit what He would have me do with this, and the answer was to simply experience today without judging it. So when I have felt sleepy or foggy this morning, I have just sat back and enjoyed the feeling. It is not a problem unless I listen to the ego make it a problem.
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