VIII. The Attraction of Love for Love, P 4
4 Because of your Father’s Love you can never forget Him, for no one can forget what God Himself placed in his memory. You can deny it, but you cannot lose it. A Voice will answer every question you ask, and a vision will correct the perception of everything you see. For what you have made invisible is the only truth, and what you have not heard is the only Answer. God would reunite you with yourself, and did not abandon you in your distress. You are waiting only for Him, and do not know it. Yet His memory shines in your mind and cannot be obliterated. It is no more past than future, being forever always.
Journal
The reason I cannot fail to return to reality is that the truth is in my mind where God placed it, and it cannot be obliterated. It is not God’s Will that it be unavailable to me. This feels very encouraging to me when I get caught up in the ego thinking and become confused. I can feel lost and helpless when this happens. But I know I can find my way back so I never feel hopeless. Sorry, Mulder. The truth is not out there; it is within.
I understand now that my every question and my every desire is answered. Sometimes I don’t recognize it as such, but that is because I become confused about the question. My desire is happiness and peace, and when I misjudge the situation, I might ask for something that will bring me distress. Here is an example.
I saw something that made me think that I had lost a customer. I was very upset and I kept thinking about what this would mean to me, the lost income, and the lost status. I thought about how unfair this was because I had done such a good job for this customer. I felt upset and discouraged. I did not feel like God’s precious child, loved and cherished and safe.
I felt this way because I had judged the situation. I saw something that made me think I probably lost a customer. Then I asked the ego to advise me as to what that meant. The ego’s judgment was that I was being unfairly treated, and that I was endangered by this customer. I was a victim to his unfairness. Because of my judgment of the situation, my question was, how do I defend myself? And of course, the ego has a lot of solutions that only make matters worse and that make me feel even more vulnerable.
Seeing this, I cancelled out that judgment. I said that I did not have a question after all, because I forgot what to decide. Then I decided differently. I chose to ask the Holy Spirit for His judgment instead. I made Him my adviser in this situation, rather than the ego. I completely surrendered the entire situation and all my thoughts about it to my Guide. The first thing that happened was that I felt peaceful about it.
Then I realized I needed to release the idea that I am unfairly treated and that I am a victim. What happened simply happened, and it is not bad or good. I don’t know what to do about it, if anything, but I am open in case there are directions for me to follow. I notice the ego trying to get my attention by offering me those I might blame, but in my surrender, I lost interest in defending myself. Without defense, my fear began to fall away.
My answer seems to be that I should do nothing. This is an answer that would have seemed woefully inadequate if I was still judging the situation with the ego. Now it seems to make perfect since. There is nothing for me to do right now and so I will not do anything. Will I save this account? I don’t know. When it is time to act, I will do so as guided.
I am content with that answer because I know something now that I was blind to when I was listening to ego. Keeping this person as a customer is not my goal. Being his savior is. I am his savior as I see him for the perfect divine self he is, and as I love him without expectations. As I accept my part as savior of the world, I am saved as well. I am at peace and it is a peace that cannot be disturbed by outward appearances.
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