II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 3
3 The darkest of your hidden cornerstones holds your belief in guilt from your awareness. For in that dark and secret place is the realization that you have betrayed God’s Son by condemning him to death. You do not even suspect this murderous but insane idea lies hidden there, for the ego’s destructive urge is so intense that nothing short of the crucifixion of God’s Son can ultimately satisfy it. It does not know who the Son of God is because it is blind. Yet let it perceive guiltlessness anywhere, and it will try to destroy it because it is afraid.
Journal
I had to read this a couple of times and to ask Jesus to help me understand it. I think the ego mind pushes against truth so simple and clear-cut and the mind refuses to understand. We chose the separation experience and in that choice guilt came into existence. All unfolded and with it, pain, suffering and death. So in that sense, we condemned the Son of God to death through our choice for separation.
We believe this happened in reality rather than in dreams and the guilt for what we believe we did is so intense that we keep that belief buried deep within our mind. But guilt and fear and insane beliefs can be hidden from our conscious awareness, but they still do their damage. The belief that we are guilty for condemning the Son of God to death shows up in so many ways throughout our day as forms of vengeance.
We crucify ourselves daily as we suffer sickness, poverty, hate, and so many forms of fear that they cannot all be named. We live lives of quiet desperation until the desperation becomes so intense that it takes a stronger and more destructive form. We push the unnamed guilt away by seeing it on someone else, not realizing that the someone else is part of our self, and so we wind up intensifying the sense of guilt rather than losing it.
But we remain the Son of God, and into this awful scenario A Course in Miracles is given and a memory of innocence and purity is awakened. The ego really hates this and is deeply afraid of it. It will fight every step of the way to keep guiltlessness at bay, pointing out our sins and the hopelessness of the situation. Who has not felt that before?
Who has not tried to practice the lessons and failed? Who has not tried to see with Christ’s Vision and only succeeded in judging instead? The ego says this means we are guilty and that guiltlessness is a foolish dream. But it is not guiltlessness that is the dream, but the ego. We are the Sons of God. We are perfect and holy and guiltless. And though we can dream of death, we are eternal. We are all that in spite of the ego mind we made. Nothing destroys our perfection, and certainly not dreams of guilt.
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