V. The Two Emotions, P 10
10 You have but two emotions, and one you made and one was given you. Each is a way of seeing, and different worlds arise from their different sights. See through the vision that is given you, for through Christ’s vision He beholds Himself. And seeing what He is, He knows His Father. Beyond your darkest dreams He sees God’s guiltless Son within you, shining in perfect radiance that is undimmed by your dreams. And this you will see as you look with Him, for His vision is His gift of love to you, given Him of the Father for you.
Journal
We have only two emotions, love and fear. God gave us love and we made fear. When we are fearful we see a scary world. When love is our vision we see a loving world. I noticed how true this is the other day. My brother was my boss and I had little to do with his partner. When my brother retired and his partner became sole owner of the business, a lot of things changed. I looked at it through fear and everything that was said and done brought up fearful thoughts.
My new boss seemed to micro-manage everything and he seemed to have no faith in me even though I had been doing a good job for the company for many years. I pushed against this and I figured I was going to get fired at any time. I felt like he resented me and just kept me there until he got someone more suitable to his way of doing things. Everything he said seemed to prove my worst fears. I was miserable and felt trapped in this situation.
I hated not being at peace and yet everything that happened at work reinforced my fearful thoughts. But I kept using the Rules for Decision and I kept asking for another way to see. The only other way to see is through love. So I began to say “I love you” each time I thought of him or had a resentful or fearful feeling about him. Things began to change.
What changed was not his management style or how he thought of me or treated me. What changed was my vision. I began to feel loving toward him. It was the darndest thing. I began to say I love you because that was my guidance. I didn’t really mean it at first, but I knew that it made sense. If I am unhappy hating him then another way to see would lead to love, so I started moving in that direction. And lo and behold, I wound up there!
He called me into his office to talk about something and I heard myself saying to him that I liked him. I told him that I liked that he was so involved. I told him that even though I would be retiring soon, I hoped he would continue to do well, and that I would do what I could to make the transition easier. I didn’t know I would say these things, but I felt the truth of them as they came out of my mouth. And I felt love rise up in me as we spoke.
I went from resenting his interference to seeing it as involvement and enthusiasm. As I listened to him I saw how hard he was trying to be a good boss and a good person. And the only thing that changed was my vision, not him and not my job, and not my work, just my vision. I chose to see through love rather than fear and the Holy Spirit helped me to do that even though I didn’t understand how it would happen or even how it could happen.
Will he fire me before I retire on my own terms? I don’t know. Maybe. Without looking at the world through fear I am not worried about that anymore. If I get fired I will just see what happens next. He has a vision for the company and it is one that I don’t agree with, but instead of resenting him for that, I can ask for another way to see the situation. I can ask for a way to see it through love rather than fear. My world can appear depressing and scary, or it can appear interesting and loving. Up to me!
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