V. THE TWO EMOTIONS, P 6
6 As you look with open eyes upon your world, it must occur to you that you have withdrawn into insanity. You see what is not there, and you hear what makes no sound. Your manifestations of emotions are the opposite of what the emotions are. You communicate with no one, and you are as isolated from reality as if you were alone in all the universe. In your madness you overlook reality completely, and you see only your own split mind everywhere you look. God calls you and you do not hear, for you are preoccupied with your own voice. And the vision of Christ is not in your sight, for you look upon yourself alone.
Journal
I will be honest; it feels pretty depressing as I look at the world I made, depressing and sometimes hopeless. I want to let this all go. I want to look at a world that has been purified of my projections. I want to see people for who they are in truth rather than see my sick mind projected onto them. I want to hear the words that come from their heart rather than giving their words meaning that comes from my unhappy and confused mind.
I am doing the work I need to do, and still I feel like I am pushing that great stone uphill only to have it roll back down again. And I know that God is speaking to me all through the day but that I listen to Him only occasionally. However, I also know that I am beginning to see things differently and that when I hear His Voice, I hear it clearly. I see that no matter how discouraged I might get, and how afraid I am of my own stubborn insistence on holding attack thoughts in my mind, I always remember that I don’t have to do this and that I have help to stop. I remember my purpose.
I have a support group. I have my fellow Course students and very helpful teachers. I have my quiet time in the morning as I read and listen and write what I hear. I have my Course groups and I have my students and mind healing partners. I have my classrooms where I practice and where I learn much needed lessons through experience, which is the best teacher, after all.
I also have much unseen help. I have the Holy Spirit, and I have Jesus, my dear brother. I have angels and guides and other non-physical beings who have much to offer me. Mostly I am unaware of their help except that I will have sudden insights and clarity. I will move inexplicably from sadness or anger and into peace simply because I called out for help. I don’t see them and mostly don’t hear them, but I know they are there. They want me to help awaken me and I welcome their help.
I am not alone. I am so thankful for that. I am beginning to see that Jesus is right that we but do this to ourselves, and that there are no accidents, and that our day is not at random. As I learn more about projection and perception I begin to see how I do it to myself. I see how I use the ego mind to perceive situations, and then I project what I perceive onto the world. Then I use the body’s eyes to prove my insane conclusion is real. My new clarity about how all this works motivates me to push through my episodic periods of discouragement to ultimately reach my goal.
Thank you, Jesus, for A Course in Miracles.
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