C 13: V. The Two Emotions P 9
9 Do not seek vision through your eyes, for you made your way of seeing that you might see in darkness, and in this you are deceived. Beyond this darkness, and yet still within you, is the vision of Christ, Who looks on all in light. Your “vision” comes from fear, as His from love. And He sees for you, as your witness to the real world. He is the Holy Spirit’s manifestation, looking always on the real world, and calling forth its witnesses and drawing them to you. He loves what He sees within you, and He would extend it. And He will not return unto the Father until He has extended your perception even unto Him. And there perception is no more, for He has returned you to the Father with Him.
Journal
I have to laugh because as I read this I thought about doing the Lessons for the first time. I read those early lessons and I would squint my eyes and hold my head just right in the hopes of seeing everything differently. I never saw anything with my eyes except the world as I knew it, a world of separate bits of form, kept apart by my naming and my insistence that there be gaps between each named thing.
Now I understand that I don’t see reality with the eyes. I perceive reality with the mind. I don’t do this consistently or ever, really. Though I do get peeks beneath the veil, and sometimes I feel something akin to reality as love rises up in me and takes me over. But at least I can accept that there is reality and that it is here in me, and I can know it and feel it if I want to give up the idea of separation completely and for all time.
I have trouble accepting the Holy Spirit’s vision of me as Christ, but I want to. My desire grows stronger every day. Even when I am going through a difficult period of undoing that feels like I descended into hell and scares me, I am never completely out of touch with truth. There is a bit of light guiding me through these dark and unpleasant, but necessary. experiences.
It will all be worth it one day when I have fearlessly, and without guilt, looked at the hatred in my mind that made this world, and have firmly rejected it as not me and no longer mine. In the meantime, I look at the hate in my mind that I see reflected as the world, and I let the Holy Spirit heal my mind. The Christ that is in me will see for me and I will know the real world. He will call forth its witness and bring them to me. He will not stop until this is done. Oh holy and faithful Holy Spirit, I am so grateful.
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