I. Guiltlessness and Invulnerability, P 10
10 You cannot dispel guilt by making it real, and then atoning for it. This is the ego’s plan, which it offers instead of dispelling it. The ego believes in atonement through attack, being fully committed to the insane notion that attack is salvation. And you who cherish guilt must also believe it, for how else but by identifying with the ego could you hold dear what you do not want?
Journal
This morning I looked at some work that was done for me and I was dissatisfied with it. I felt a spike of anger which I directed toward the one who did the work. Immediately, I felt guilty for making her guilty, then I tried to forgive her by thinking that I am being unreasonable and how it wasn’t really her fault. This is exactly the kind of thing Jesus is talking about here.
I first made this person guilty then tried to forgive. In so doing, I was keeping guilt in place and in fact, I was increasing guilt in my own mind. I was also failing to forgive because I cannot forgive if I believe in their guilt. Trying to justify the behavior only increases my belief that the person is guilty. I saw what I was doing and so I used the Rules for Decision to help me see differently.
This morning when I decided what kind of day I wanted to have, I tried on a few ideas, but nothing felt right. So I sat there in silence for a moment and waited for the right thought to be given to me. Then I knew; today I want to experience myself as the Love that I am. I want to feel that love well up in me and flow out to everyone else. I imagined the energy of that Love swelling within me, surging upward to its crest, and then breaking gently against everything in its path, and rippling outward blessing the entire Sonship.
I know this can happen - will happen - if I don’t block it with judgment and guilt. So when I feel something today that is not love, that doesn’t fill me with the joy of being what I am and extending what I am, then I am going to undo the guilt that is damming up the flow of love. I will do that by remembering that guilt is not real, no matter what I see in the illusion, no matter how strong the feeling of guilt might be, it remains unreal. I want to see differently. I open to the Atonement, not atonement for guilt, but atonement for the belief in guilt.
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