I. Guiltlessness and Invulnerability, P 9
9 Accepting the Atonement teaches you what immortality is, for by accepting your guiltlessness you learn that the past has never been, and so the future is needless and will not be. The future, in time, is always associated with expiation, and only guilt could induce a sense of a need for expiation. Accepting the guiltlessness of the Son of God as yours is therefore God’s way of reminding you of His Son, and what he is in truth. For God has never condemned His Son, and being guiltless he is eternal.
Journal
I noticed something new reading this paragraph. It says that when we accept the Atonement, that is, we accept our guiltlessness, we will know that the past has never been. It doesn’t say that the past will no longer affect us, but that it has never been. When I read something like this I get a feel for just how entrenched I am in the world and time as if they are real. Trying to absorb that the past has never been, which means my life (lives) have never been, boggles my mind.
My reaction is funny, considering that I thought I knew this. Evidently, it is one of those things where I understand the idea, but my belief has not caught up with my understanding. Fortunately, my belief will catch up eventually if I simply continue to do the work that is in front of me to do. What I must do is reject the idea of guilt in its every form, and do this in spite of appearances.
I can do this because I know just enough to realize that appearances are not truth. I accept this and I believe it. I can feel very strongly about an appearance, but my feeling doesn’t increase its veracity, it only makes it harder for me to ignore it. What seems to be helping me is to focus on the truth as much as possible. When I think someone is guilty, I ask Holy Spirit to show me the truth about them, and then I wait for true thoughts to fill my mind, or maybe just a true feeling.
Practicing the Rules for Decision, I have formed the habit of questioning the source of my information when I am upset. If I think someone is guilty, I ask myself what it is that helped me make that decision; was it ego or was it Holy Spirit? Knowing that it is guilt, I can be sure it was ego and I can change my mind and ask Holy Spirit to interpret the situation for me.
At first I saw lifetimes of distressing work ahead of me to undo all the wrong-minded thoughts. But then I began to see that my mind was shifting. I started out having to be convinced that this time no one was guilty. After awhile of doing this, I realized that no one was ever guilty, and that I just had to let go of my desire for the guilt to be real. I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
There is still some resistance on my part. I think of some particularly bad parenting decision I made when my kids were young, and I get caught in that loop for awhile. How could I be innocent when I really did this? I have screwed up kids to prove it. When I start valuing my guilt, it pays to stop it in its tracks, because if I let it go too long, it is so hard to get out of that trap.
The truth is, the past never happened. There is nothing to forgive except my belief that it did. I accept the Atonement in this situation and allow the Holy Spirit to remove the darkness from my mind. I remember that I am as God created me and if I think I am guilty, I must be having a bad dream. The only thing to do with a bad dream is to wake up.
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