II. THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD, P 9
9 Little child, this is not so. Your “guilty secret” is nothing, and if you will but bring it to the light, the light will dispel it. And then no dark cloud will remain between you and the remembrance of your Father, for you will remember His guiltless Son, who did not die because he is immortal. And you will see that you were redeemed with him, and have never been separated from him. In this understanding lies your remembering, for it is the recognition of love without fear. There will be great joy in Heaven on your homecoming, and the joy will be yours. For the redeemed son of man is the guiltless Son of God, and to recognize him is your redemption.
Journal
This “guilty secret”, the belief that I have undone the holiness of the Son of God, is nothing. It is not real and could never be real. It leads to an even greater fear. If I have made His Son into something He is not, then I must have undone God in order for this to happen. This is the source of all guilt I think. But it does not seem that I can forgive this of myself, at least not yet. So I work my way toward complete forgiveness and the remembrance of Heaven by forgiving guilt where I see it in my life.
I have had so much opportunity to do this the last few weeks. It seems that I am being bombarded with opportunity, but really it is simply the answer to the prayer that I awaken. When I remember the purpose of all these stories, then I feel calm and simply do what I came to do. But when I get embroiled in the stories, I forget their purpose and I start to feel overcome and emotional. This makes the process harder and more unpleasant.
I am using the Rules for Decision right now as the process that is very helpful in doing the forgiveness work, and also one that helps me to avoid some of the discomfort I would otherwise feel. Having used this process now every day for over a month, some things are becoming clear to me. The main thing I understand now is that there is only one reason I suffer. It is because I asked the ego to help me understand what is happening and what it is for. As soon as I change my mind about this and ask the Holy Spirit instead, I return to peace, and the peace of God is everything I want.
Because I have achieved some degree of peace through consistent forgiveness, when I do hold a grievance and see anyone as guilty, it is very distressing to me. That sudden and abrupt loss of peace is jarring, and if I hold onto it, it is painful. So I continue to bring my dark thoughts to the light and allow them to be dispelled. I want to remember God.
I want to remember that in choosing to experience separation, I did not kill the Son of God. He is immortal. He is me. I am immortal and I will remember this when I let go of the belief in guilt. As I choose to see my brother’s innocence, I will see my own, and then I will know I am one with him and with God. That’s the way it works. So holding a grievance is both foolish and painful, and completely unnecessary. A Course in Miracles has given me methods, practices that help me to return to sanity. I intend to make good use of them.
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