VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 7
7 Truth and littleness are denials of each other because grandeur is truth. Truth does not vacillate; it is always true. When grandeur slips away from you, you have replaced it with something you have made. Perhaps it is the belief in littleness; perhaps it is the belief in grandiosity. Yet it must be insane because it is not true. Your grandeur will never deceive you, but your illusions always will. Illusions are deceptions. You cannot triumph, but you are exalted. And in your exalted state you seek others like you and rejoice with them.
Journal
I felt exalted at the conference, and I surrounded myself with others like me. And we certainly celebrated! We celebrated the Family that is Christ, that is us. We celebrated the Love that we are and that we are all about. Was there some grandiosity and some littleness in there? Probably. It is hard to avoid completely while there is still some confusion about who we are. The mind returns to the familiar ego thinking when we become careless, at least for awhile. I think when we wake up and live from that awakened state, that surely we don’t keep sliding back and forth.
I made the self that wants to be grand and that is afraid it is little and I can release that self anytime I want. I don’t need to fight the ego because to do so would be to say the ego is real and a worthy opponent. It is neither. Awakening is a matter of wanting to return home more than I want to remain here. It is a matter of desire that is single minded rather than the wishing and hoping of the split mind. Today’s paragraph and today’s lesson go well together. The following is a commitment I made for today when I did my lesson.
Today I will remind myself of the truth. I will think about my true nature as the perfect child of a perfect God. I will think about being Love and about how much my Father loves me. I will think about how much I miss my real Life and how much I want to be Home. I will think how blessed I am that I am eternal and unalterable and I will be glad.
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