IV. The End of Sickness P 4
4 God’s laws will keep your mind at peace because peace is His Will, and His laws are established to uphold it. His are the laws of freedom, but yours are the laws of bondage. Since freedom and bondage are irreconcilable, their laws cannot be understood together. The laws of God work only for your good, and there are no other laws beside His. Everything else is merely lawless and therefore chaotic. Yet God Himself has protected everything He created by His laws. Everything that is not under them does not exist. “Laws of chaos” is a meaningless term. Creation is perfectly lawful, and the chaotic is without meaning because it is without God. You have “given” your peace to the gods you made, but they are not there to take it from you, and you cannot give it to them.
Journal
This is what chaos looks like. As I was trying to fall asleep last night I started thinking about some advise I gave a co-worker earlier in the day. The more I thought about it, I realized I needed to recant what I had said. It was not good advice. I thought about calling her first thing in the morning before she acted on it. I thought about what I would say, how I would phrase it. I replayed the original event in my mind. In other words, I obsessed about it until it grew all out of proportion.
I finally pulled myself out of it and asked Holy Spirit to remind me to call in the morning, and to direct my words. For a moment I was at peace and then I started thinking about my upcoming stress test and I obsessed about that for awhile. And so on, for way too long. I wound up feeling like everything in my life was wrong and then it went downhill from there.
My mind was chaotic with nonsense thoughts. This is the law of the ego. It is the natural consequence of seeing each person, each thing and each circumstance as separate from each other and each requiring its own specific solution. It becomes a never ending job and an impossible job. There is no peace when I look at the world with the ego mind.
Peace came when I asked for help to see clearly. I thought of the co-worker and gave the uncertainty and regret to the Holy Spirit. I thought of the stress test and gave the fear that evoked to the Holy Spirit. I did this with each emotional response to the worries and fears and all the guilt that accompanied them. I asked for His judgment on each in place of my own judgment.
In each case, He reminded me that I am loved and guided through every problem life presents. His judgment of each circumstance was the same. God still loves me and this is not His Will. I am innocent and I am as perfect as the moment I was created. Each person in my worried mind is innocent and perfect. No matter what thorny problem I bring Him, His answer is the same.
I can choose to live under the chaotic laws of the ego, or I can choose to live under the laws of Peace. Always, it is up to me.
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