III. The God of Sickness, P 10
10 If God has but one Son, there is but one God. You share reality with Him, because reality is not divided. To accept other gods before Him is to place other images before yourself. You do not realize how much you listen to your gods, and how vigilant you are on their behalf. Yet they exist only because you honor them. Place honor where it is due, and peace will be yours. It is your inheritance from your real Father. You cannot make your Father, and the father you made did not make you. Honor is not due to illusions, for to honor them is to honor nothing. Yet fear is not due them either, for nothing cannot be fearful. You have chosen to fear love because of its perfect harmlessness, and because of this fear you have been willing to give up your own perfect helpfulness and your own perfect Help.
Journal
The blocks to Love’s awareness are the idols that I worship. To remove the blocks, I must stop worshipping the illusion in all its forms. I worship them when I believe in them. I worship fear sometimes. I get caught up in a fear thought and I keep it going as I obsess over it. This is my worship of an idol.
It can be a little thing or a big thing. I doesn’t really matter because they are all the same. Either my thoughts are true or they are false, real or unreal. I often use the body to foster fear. I get sick, or it does something strange, or I hurt it and feel pain. Suddenly I am back at the altar I erected to fear for the body. I bow down to it and tremble before it. At some point I notice what I am doing and I laugh and get up, dusting myself off as I do.
As more and more I recognize these points of choice, these moments when I see I am worshipping an idol and realize I have a choice. I can keep giving the idol my attention, or I can shift my awareness to the truth that remains forever in my mind. Points of choice. Jesus has told us that choice is the only freedom we have allowed ourselves in this dream. I take full advantage of it.
A lot has happened in my story over the past week or so. I started feeling like everything was out of control. It was a scary feeling and I worshipped at that altar for awhile. Yesterday, I began to come to my senses and asked that my mind be healed. I became willing to understand anything that I need to understand, and I became open to knowing whatever I needed to know about this.
I saw how I became weaker and weaker in my own eyes as I continued to obsess on the story. I felt like I couldn’t do anything and I had no power. This was the ego talking but I had allowed my awareness to fixate on self as body and so was strongly identified with it. I recognized this point of choice eventually, and I chose to fix my mind on God instead, and in so doing, got in touch with my available power.
Through the power that is God and therefore is me as well, I made different choices and the past dissolved from my mind, and with it the sense that I was weak and powerless. My life is always a clear reflection of what I want and what I worship. I set aside my god of despair with a gentle laugh and walked away from it. My life is now reflecting a different choice.
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