V. The Denial of God, P 14
14 Arrogance is the denial of love, because love shares and arrogance withholds. As long as both appear to you to be desirable the concept of choice, which is not of God, will remain with you. While this is not true in eternity it is true in time, so that while time lasts in your mind there will be choices. Time itself is your choice. If you would remember eternity, you must look only on the eternal. If you allow yourself to become preoccupied with the temporal, you are living in time. As always, your choice is determined by what you value. Time and eternity cannot both be real, because they contradict each other. If you will accept only what is timeless as real, you will begin to understand eternity and make it yours.
Journal
Yesterday went pretty well. We had our Monday meeting and I wondered if I had forgiven all the drama inherent in these meetings lately. I guess I have, at least to a great deal, as everything went pretty smoothly. As the day went on, I noticed friction between parties, but I just watched my mind and chose not to take part of it.
On my way home, I was listening to a book as I drove, and I kept getting distracted from what was being read by attack thoughts in my mind. It was kind of funny in a way. I had one attack thought after another directed at the people at work. It was like, suddenly, I let the dog off his leash and he was running wild.
For a few minutes, I was focused on hearing my story and kept bring my mind back to it. Then I stopped myself, turned off the story and looked at these thoughts. As I paid attention to my feelings I realized the real problem was that I was dreading going to work this week in this extreme heat, and that I was projecting my unhappiness with the situation onto my co-workers.
I knew immediately that I was not interested in this, and released it all to the Holy Spirit. It all happened very quickly and I was back in peace, listening to my story. Forgiveness is easy when that is what you really want. I wanted peace more than I wanted to feel sorry for myself, and more than I wanted to blame anyone and so it was just done.
I got to the place where I wanted peace more than I wanted the ego drama of the day by making that choice over and over. While I still get entangled in a drama from time to time, I usually choose to focus on Reality rather than on the illusion. I can believe only one or the other in any moment, so the more I believe the truth, the easier it is for me to make that choice.
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