V. The Denial of God, P 5
5 I said before that of yourself you can do nothing, but you are not of yourself. If you were, what you have made would be true, and you could never escape. It is because you did not make yourself that you need be troubled over nothing. Your gods are nothing, because your Father did not create them. You cannot make creators who are unlike your Creator, any more than He could have created a Son who was unlike Him. If creation is sharing, it cannot create what is unlike itself. It can share only what it is. Depression is isolation, and so it could not have been created.
Journal
Oh my! What a relief it is to know that none of this is real. I believe something that isn’t true and from that belief I project a representative image of that untrue belief and that is all that has happened. It is not real because I cannot create something that is unlike Creation. Creation is sharing and God created me through sharing Himself, so I am like God. I can only create through sharing myself, and so my creations must be like God. Anything else is just an illusion, a dream of something different.
In my desire to experience myself as something different than I am, I made up the idea of different gods so that I could mimic creation. The god of depression is one of them and now I can pretend to be created in the image of the god of depression. I think about something sad or difficult or fearful and I feel depressed. But it is a false feeling because it was sourced by a false god. This is nothing for me to be concerned about because nothing actually happened.
God is not alone and it is His nature to create through sharing. Depression is isolation, and so it could not have been created. In truth, I can only feel joy and peace and love because that is what I am. And thank God, I cannot be anything else. When I feel depressed, I am only confused. I cannot do anything about the confusion alone, but I am not alone. The Holy Spirit will correct my mistakes, as I am willing to relinquish them to Him.
This is going to be a very hectic week for me with long hours, because it is conference week. I think of all that I have to do, and how tired I am every year at this time, and I feel depressed. But I am only temporarily discouraged because through my study of the Course I have discovered that I am not bound by the laws of my false god.
I have discovered that I can experience these things without feeling discouraged and depressed. Bowing down to this false god is simply a choice I make and I can make a different choice. With the Holy Spirit’s help I can relinquish the belief that depression is real. Today’s Lesson says that I place the future in the Hands of God. This is a statement that leads out of confusion and into Reality. I make that choice today. I turn from the false gods I made to the God of Creation and I put everything in His Hands.
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