7-19-20
5 Forgiveness is a symbol, too, but as the symbol of His Will alone it cannot be divided. And so the unity that it reflects becomes His Will. It is the only thing still in the world in part, and yet the bridge to Heaven.
The work conference I am attending is coming to an end today. I have been attending this conference every year for the last 16 years. I told a co-worker that I think this year’s conference is the easiest ever. Even though I enjoy the conferences, usually by the time it’s over I am exhausted and very ready to leave. I am tired of talking to people, and smiling at everyone all the time. This year that hasn’t happened.
I think that the reason this year is different is because I remembered my purpose, and in remembering my purpose a lot of other stuff fell away. I didn’t smile because I had to, but because I wanted to. I felt happy so I smiled. I talked to people with a genuine interest and so it didn’t feel like a burden. All of this has been true for me in the past, but it was only partly true. Behind every smile was a different goal than love.
My goal was to keep customers and make new ones. It was to make an impression. It was to convince people that they should be my customer. Sure, I hoped that it would work out good for them and would make a genuine effort to assure that it would, but mostly, I wanted them to see things my way and stay, or be, my customer.
This goal required a great deal of energy as I tried to meet the expectations of each different person, to be what they wanted to see in me. It was tiring because it had nothing to do with love and everything to do with neediness. Not only was I feeling needy which is in opposition to my true nature, but I was using my brother (with little regard to his interests) to fill those needs. No wonder I felt disheartened by the end of those conferences.
This year I had one goal. I wanted to be the love that I am. I wanted to be a channel for that love to be expressed in whatever way would be most helpful. This gave all 1500 of us at the conference a single shared interest. They may or may not be aware of this interest, but in their Heart they all want the same thing; to be loving and loved.
If they did not know they shared this interest and they thought they wanted something else to come of the relationship, that was ok. I didn’t need them to know. I didn’t need anything from them and that was freeing. It is not possible to be disappointed if you have no expectations. With no expectations, everything that happens is perfect.
This didn’t mean I had no thoughts that opposed this goal, but it means I had no opposing thoughts that I was interested in. And even if one of those thoughts caught my attention briefly, I just turned it over to Holy Spirit to be purified and so let it go rather than judging myself for it. This is forgiveness. It is recognizing that nothing that is not God is true, so there is nothing to forgive.
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