7-26-12
4 The world stands like a block before Christ’s face. But true perception looks on it as nothing more than just a fragile veil, so easily dispelled that it can last no longer than an instant. It is seen at last for only what it is. And now it cannot fail to disappear, for now there is an empty place made clean and ready. Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came.
When I was confused about the world and was convinced it was real, it was so solid in my mind that I could not perceive it to be anything except the truth. At first before my mind began to change I was exposed to the truth but, though it was attractive, it seemed like science fiction or like the fascinating fantasy novels I am so fond of. Then as my mind began to clear, I knew the world could not be what it seemed but I still believed what I saw for the most part.
I wanted to know the truth, but I just couldn’t let go of the idea that a world that looked and felt so real could be an illusion. Of course I was looking and feeling with a body that was part of the illusion, but I couldn’t completely accept that. It was funny, really, because I could say I believed what the Course told me, and I thought I did, and yet I still reacted as if the world were real.
I cared about what happened in the world, and especially what happened to Myron as if they were real and mattered deeply. I still acted as if I were Myron was in charge of deciding what to do and her decisions affected the course of events. Finally, one day I realized how absurd all this was, and now when I think about it, I can’t believe how fully I accepted all this as truth and how hard it was to see that the world is not real.
But some time during the day I will again become temporarily confused and then will suddenly remember the truth and will laugh at myself. Probably this will happen more than once, but maybe not. I have no idea what will happen next. And isn’t that delicious. I used to think happiness was being in control and actually trying to control this illusion is folly and only causes stress. I bet that’s why the body ages and dies; all that stress from trying to do the impossible.
Now I see that happiness is knowing it’s not my personal job to keep the universe in its proper place. I thought I was supposed to wake up at 6:00 this morning, but obviously that was not so. It was the first surprise of the day to discover that I was supposed to wake up at 7:00. For a moment the mind was in charge again and was scrambling to figure out ways to get back in control of the day.
How could I make the time conform to my schedule or failing that, how could I make my schedule conform to a day that is going to be an hour shorter than my schedule allows for. Then I shrugged off the ego and gave the whole idea that I know what anything is for to the Holy Spirit for healing. I trust it will all work out as it should and I am watching with interest to see what that looks like.
Holy Spirit, the veil is indeed thin and insubstantial. I will never cease to be amazed that I could have failed to see through it for so long. Still, I know that I still become confused at times. I feel like someone who has awakened from a heavily drugged sleep and still falls back into their dream off and on while they fight off the effects of the sleep. If this happens today, help me to not take it seriously.
This personality I have chosen for the story of Myron has a tendency to take herself too seriously. It has been such a long time that guilt has been the guiding force for us that I fall back under its sway too easily, and then for a bit I know I’m confused but forget why. Teach me to laugh at the mind’s foolish beliefs when this happens and this will help me to see with clarity once again.
© Copyright 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.
Has this page been helpful to you?
Your contribution in support of this site is greatly appreciated. To make a tax deductible contribution or become a member online, go to http://www.pathwaysoflight.org/polshop/home.php?cat=254.
Or send a check or money order to Pathways of Light, 6 Oak Court, Ormond Beach, FL 32174-2623 (USD only, please) Thank you for your support.