Day 22
6 And finally, there is “a period of achievement.” It is here that learning is consolidated. Now what was seen as merely shadows before become solid gains, to be counted on in all “emergencies” as well as tranquil times. Indeed, the tranquility is their result; the outcome of honest learning, consistency of thought and full transfer. This is the stage of real peace, for here is Heaven’s state fully reflected. From here, the way to Heaven is open and easy. In fact, it is here. Who would “go” anywhere, if peace of mind is already complete? And who would seek to change tranquility for something more desirable? What could be more desirable than this?
I have periods of undisturbed peace and I have times when joy simply wells up in me, joy that is not attached to anything, that simply is. The peace and the joy don’t last for a long time. I will suddenly feel anxious or sad or guilty. There seemed always to be a reason for this, something that happened in my life that pulled me out of this happy state.
As I was reading this paragraph I remembered that this cannot be the case. I don’t actually react to what happens in my life. What happens in my life is a direct result of what happens in my mind. I then create the fiction that I don’t know why life picks on me, and I am just the innocent victim of circumstances. But I know better, even as I lie to myself there is a place in me that knows better. I alone am responsible for everything in my life, so it must be that I kicked myself out of paradise. Again.
I’ve been teaching from The Obstacles to Peace, specifically, The Fear of God, and this week we were on The Lifting of the Veil. We stand before the veil that seems to hide from us the face of Christ, and yet we do not move it aside. We stand trembling in terror at the fear of God. And yet, this is what we have come for, to move the veil aside and remember God.
What remains undone? How do we overcome the fear of God? This is what the Course tells us.
Before complete forgiveness you still stand unforgiving. You are afraid of God because you fear your brother. Those you do not forgive you fear. And no one reaches love with fear beside him.
And so I see that my learning is not complete, my beliefs are not consistent. I still look on my brother from time to time and see him as the enemy. I look at him with the body’s eyes and believe what they tell me, completely forgetting that they only report back to me what I want to see.
Holy Spirit, I want only to wake up from this crazy dream. I want to know my brother as he is, not as I have had him be. Please help me to see when I forget my purpose. Please help me to remember that I need forgiveness of my brother, for I will share in madness or in Heaven together. And I will raise my eyes in faith together, or not at all.
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