Day 29
VII. Generosity
1 The term generosity has special meaning to the teacher of God. It is not the usual meaning of the word; in fact, it is a meaning that must be learned and learned very carefully. Like all the other attributes of God’s teachers this one rests ultimately on trust, for without trust no one can be generous in the true sense. To the world, generosity means “giving away” in the sense of “giving up.” To the teachers of God, it means giving away in order to keep. This has been emphasized throughout the text and the workbook, but it is perhaps more alien to the thinking of the world than many other ideas in our curriculum. Its greater strangeness lies merely in the obviousness of its reversal of the world’s thinking. In the clearest way possible, and at the simplest of levels, the word means the exact opposite to the teachers of God and to the world.
2 The teacher of God is generous out of Self interest. This does not refer, however, to the self of which the world speaks. The teacher of God does not want anything he cannot give away, because he realizes it would be valueless to him by definition. What would he want it for? He could only lose because of it. He could not gain. Therefore he does not seek what only he could keep, because that is a guarantee of loss. He does not want to suffer. Why should he ensure himself pain? But he does want to keep for himself all things that are of God, and therefore for His Son. These are the things that belong to him. These he can give away in true generosity, protecting them forever for himself.
Once this section is understood it is easy to know what it is that I want, and what has no value to me. I lay awake this morning at 3 am waiting for a migraine to subside and wishing I could go back to sleep. I was placing great value on being able to sleep. Is this something of God? Or is this something of the body, therefore of the ego? Since it was not of God it was of no value to me.
I had a hard time convincing myself that this is true because I have always had a rule about how much sleep I need, and must remind myself that this is no longer true for me. I let my mind wander and watched my thoughts. One of the reasons I believe I need to get back to sleep is that I want to wake up in time to do exactly what I am doing now. I want to do the next section of the Manual for Teachers. After worrying about this for awhile I just laughed at myself, got up and did it. Will I go back to sleep afterward? I don’t know.
I am glad to be reminded of what is of value. This study seems to be important to me. It seems to have value, not for the sake of the study itself, but for where it seems to be leading me. Perhaps also because in my study and my sharing we are given an opportunity to join in our single purpose of awakening. It is not the only way, but it is a helpful way to do this. This is of God.
I can give this away. I give it through the words I write and through the sharing that occurs as you who read it comment, or even if there is no comment. That we have shared in this study is enough. I give it through my intent to follow guidance and through what I learn as I open my mind to Spirit. What I gain is gained by all, so it is a generous gift. Giving it is the way I keep it.
Someone calls for counseling and I put aside what I thought I was going to be doing, not out of an ego sense of sacrifice, but out of the desire for union, and because that is my guidance. I give my full attention, and I set aside the little self and wait for words to be given. This is of God and is a gift that is truly given both to the one I speak to and to myself.
I become upset about something that is happening in my life and I ask for healing; I return to the Holy Spirit for help as many times as it takes to fully convince myself I want healing. This is of God. This practice is of value and I give it as I receive it because the only mind being healed is ours.
I forgive. I am kind. I am patient. I am loving. Usually these are easy choices and the value is obvious. Sometimes it seems to go against all reason as the world sees it, and I have to ask for help to change my mind. Either way these are true gifts, of great value because they are of God, and as I give them I gain them. My generosity is to self.
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